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Post by Quorthon on Aug 23, 2005 12:22:16 GMT -5
NOTE: Read carefully before voting! This is a "which is suckiest" poll. Why? Because throughout the history of video games being put to celluloid, there has been near constant failure. Each new hope is only risen up to be smashed back down again, as violently as possible. So let's have at it.
(Yeah, I know it's a tough list--they're all pretty bad)
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Post by Quorthon on Aug 23, 2005 12:23:44 GMT -5
By the way, I voted MKII because since the first was a halfway decent movie it made this monstrosity look all the worse. If only the first sucked as badly I would've voted House of the Dead.
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Post by Heineken Skywalker on Aug 23, 2005 16:21:10 GMT -5
While I do think that "Pretty much all "Game" movies blow", I went with that piece of crap, Super Mario Bros.
Not being a "gamer" I have no idea how true to the actual game any of these movies are, but just as a movie alone, Mario Bros is just putrid. And honestly, I've never sat down to watch the entire thing from beginning to end, but I've watched more than enough of it. If Bart can get away with only watching most of CITIZEN KANE, then surely no one will blame me for not seeing all of this.
From this list I've also seen the following "gems":
Mortal Kombat (Nothing to see here, but good fight scenes, and really, why else would you watch this?)
Tomb Raider (Nothing to see here, but Angelina's fine assets and really, why else would you watch this?)
Resident Evil (That scene where the guy gets sliced and diced was pretty cool.)
Final Fantasy (Nice CG animation, so-so story.)
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Post by spacer on Aug 24, 2005 1:32:38 GMT -5
Well, Quorthy, I've watched only original Mortal Combat and only partially. I saved myself from all these crappy positions. I don't have knowledge enough to vote myself then, but I believe in your professional choice so I choose MK II as well.  |
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Post by Quorthon on Aug 24, 2005 8:45:06 GMT -5
It's too bad more people don't get the same enjoyment from bad cinema as I do (and apparently Bart as well), you guys are really missing out--Street Fighter, for example, was simply a nightmare made all the worse by knowing how well assembled the game was. Why did one of the two Americans in the movie have to be Jean Claude Van-Damme?? And that's only the most obvious problem! MKII was simply nightmarish--and contained none of the story of the games--which is agruably one of the most complicated and convoluted of any fighting game.
Honestly I only saw the last 10 minutes of Double Dragon and that was enough to make me cringe. Poor, poor Robert Patrick--he really should've known better.
The Final Fantasy games typically have vast and incredible epic stories revolving around typical fantasy elements, but the movie's totally science-fiction theme was kind of a let-down. The sixth game (released as Final Fantasy III in America on the SNES), at least to me, has about the best story--the world gets destroyed--halfway through.
The Super Mario Bros. movie is so loathed that even Nintendo's flagship magazine, Nintendo Power, ridicules it. It resembles the games in name alone. One of Nintendo's greatest series'--The Legend of Zelda--is slated to be made into a movie here in the next year, and boy howdy am I worried. I love those games--so far the biggest plus is that the series creator, Shigeru Miyamoto, also wrote the upcoming movie.
Let's just hope Uwe Boll doesn't get his hands on it...
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Post by Phoenix on Aug 24, 2005 9:32:56 GMT -5
Went w/Super Mario Bros. NO redeeming factor in that movie.
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Post by LivingDeadGirl on Aug 24, 2005 16:18:27 GMT -5
Also went with SMB...House would be second.
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Post by Bartwald on Aug 26, 2005 14:23:10 GMT -5
It's too bad more people don't get the same enjoyment from bad cinema as I do (and apparently Bart as well)... Some truth here, yes. And get this: I even liked Super Mario Bros.! No, I'm not just trying to act tough - I was just young and vulnerable enough back then to swallow its insanities. Not so in case of Tomb Raider: man, what a total bore this was! Even sequel beats it - it at least sports the crazy shark-punch scene, while the original was trying to be ooh-so-serious. Haven't seen Street Fighter though. Shame. |
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Post by Quorthon on Sept 20, 2005 10:27:20 GMT -5
Since Bart went ahead and admitted that he liked the SMB movie back in the day, I feel like I can finally admit that I, too, enjoyed that film (for some reason) when I was a youngster.
Of course, it helped that I was (and still am) a big fan of the Super Mario Bros. games. Except for Super Mario Sunshine. That one was just "alright."
Anyone looking forward to the new "DOOM" movie?
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Post by Phoenix on Sept 20, 2005 11:19:19 GMT -5
Anyone looking forward to the new "DOOM" movie? *guiltily raises hand* I think it looks fun. Plus, I'm a fan of The Rock. |
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Post by Quorthon on Sept 21, 2005 10:36:19 GMT -5
I lost interest in it months and months ago when I read an article on www.ign.com that Warner Bros. wanted to make the film PG-13, but seeing that it's R, despite the story change (grrr), I'm actually fairly interested in seeing it. I still have my SNES & N64 versions of the game. |
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Post by LivingDeadGirl on Sept 22, 2005 15:44:07 GMT -5
Anyone looking forward to the new "DOOM" movie? *guiltily raises hand* I think it looks fun. Plus, I'm a fan of The Rock. Ewwwwwwwww...I forgot that Rock was gonna be in that one. Add me to the list of people looking forward to it then. |
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Post by Bartwald on Sept 23, 2005 22:52:23 GMT -5
I'm looking forward to it without holding precious breath. Not familiar with the game, though.
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Post by Quorthon on Sept 26, 2005 7:17:03 GMT -5
I'm looking forward to it without holding precious breath. Not familiar with the game, though. I'll be glad to give you a quick history whether you want one or not! The game starred, well, you as a nameless Space Marine (which wasn't a cliche in video games back then) in the early 90's that wanders around Mars and bases set up on it's moons (Phobos and Deimos) shooting the crap out of demons and zombies coming through portals discovered therein. It was the second 3-D, 1st person--the first being Wolfenstein 3-D--but Doom revolutioned the genre with textured walls, detailed environments (in texture, shape, look, and feel), and incredible violence and gore. It was one of the games, along with Mortal Kombat and the notoriously crappy Night Trap (never played it, but reportedly one of the worst games ever conceived) targeted by Congress for extinction. This unholy attack was led by Joe Leiberman (here in the states) and recalls the efforts of Tipper Gore and the PMRC to rid the world of Heavy Metal and Rap; and also of the 1950's Congressional assault on, of all things evil, comic books--the latter was the only one that was successful. Doom, Mortal Kombat, and their kin did, however, lead to the ESRB-rating system that we now have in America on all our video games. Funny side note: The latest incarnation of Grand Theft Auto was recently re-classified as an AO (Adults Only, 18+) game from it's original M-rating (Mature, 17+) when a sex scene initially thought written out of the game resurfaced as still being in there, though only accessible through "hacking" of the games code. AO games aren't carried by large retail chains like Target or Wal-Mart. At any rate, the incredible violence of the game meant that the movie shouldn't be anything less than 'R,' but for a while it seemed that Warner Bros was going tp push for a PG-13 film for some retarded reason. |
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Post by Pulpmariachi on Sept 26, 2005 8:37:24 GMT -5
I just saw Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and I really liked it. And The Spirits Within movie was great too. Maybe it's because I've only been able to beat Final Fantasy VII (my favorite one, I tried X but messed up the characters so badly...my friends were laughing) and Kingdom Hearts (hellah yeah! Love that Sora), and I guess that's the most sci-fi of the Final Fantasy series (maybe, I think Quorthon said once in some other topic).
I liked the Super Mario Brothers movie when I was a kid.
But the worst one, I think, would be Tomb Raider 2. It was one of the few movies I walked out for a bit to refill snacks (I never do that when I eat movie snacks). Ugh, such a horrid movie.
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