The Golden Asshat Awards: 2006

[ZapRowsdower]

BloodRayne - Uwe Boll. That's all I have to say.
Date Movie - This is about the most pitiful attempt at comedy anyone has ever done. Two of the six writers of Scary Movie? Yeah, they're responsible for the gags that DIDN'T work.
Freedomland - An attempt to do what Crash did, except somewhere along the lines, a screenwriter here, an actor or actress there, a director on the side... they all fucked up.
Little Man - Look at it this way: it was less funny than White Chicks. Bad visual effects, not funny, and worst of all, it's ripped off from an episode of Looney Tunes.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - Thanks a lot for making the same movie twice, assholes. Fuck, the last one didn't have to be made either.
Ultraviolet - This here is MST3K material. With its bad writing and PG-13-related loopholes... And let's face it, any movie with that kid in it generally has not been very good.

WINNER 2005: Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Open Water

Worst Actor in a Leading Role

Tim Allen for The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause - Did you enjoy your paycheck, Mr. Allen? I hope so. Maybe you earned enough money to be funny again.
Jon Foster for Stay Alive - Another bad actor in a bad horror flick. Guilt by association.
David Morrissey for Basic Instinct 2 - I don't think I can top David Spade's quip on this guy: "If you know who David Morrissey is, then you must be David Morrissey." There's a reason for that.
Tyrese Gibson for Waist Deep - Tyrese sucked. What more can I say?
Kal Penn for National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj - Proof that comedically, a fake, thick Indian accent can only take you so far. And by my experience he's been loads funnier without it.
Marlon Wayans for Little Man - You know, this guy really surprised me when he did Requiem for a Dream. Then there are times when you really want to bang your head against a table. Or rather, his head.

WINNER 2005: The Rock for Doom
WINNER 2004: Cary Elwes for Saw

Worst Actress in a Leading Role

Jordana Brewster for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - No, you're not Portuguese.... Too subtle? Hint: The Faculty.
Meagan Good for Waist Deep - I wasn't convinced. Were you? Did you even see the movie? Don't.
Milla Jovovich for Ultraviolet - I used to like this woman. I really did. I mean, the Fifth Element, she was fucking great. What happened to you, Milla? What happened?
Kristanna Loken for BloodRayne - Trying out the T-X character again, I see?
Julianne Moore for Freedomland - That's right, Julianne Moore. And if you've seen Freedomland, you'll know what I'm talking about. The bite marks she left on the scenery speak for themselves, from her frantic screaming to her constant crying, her two emotions are a fine source of unintentional humor for anyone willing to look.
Sharon Stone for Basic Instinct 2 - Woman, you are pushing 50. You trying to have onscreen sex all the time now, that's just creepy.

WINNER 2005: Tara Reid for Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Hilary Duff for Raise Your Voice

Worst Actor in a Supporting Role

Matthew Davis for BloodRayne - Wig... wig...
Taylor Handley for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning - Another bad actor in a bad horror flick.
Michael Madsen for BloodRayne - What's the matter, Vic? Too good for an accent?
Frankie Muniz for Stay Alive - I know you can act. Just... what the fuck....?
Shawn Wayans for Little Man - I'm not convinced that you would believe that kid as a midget. You really looked stupid and not in a good way.
The Game for Waist Deep - You know how he's fighting that war with 50 Cent? 50 Cent won.

WINNER 2005: Max Thieriot for The Pacifier
WINNER 2004: B2K for You Got Served

Worst Actress in a Supporting Role

Tanya Allen for Silent Hill - She overacted to a comedic level. That's bad.
Kate Beahan for The Wicker Man - Bitch, stop crying! I mean, fuck, tears in her eyes in every scene. What the fuck was with that shit?
Nathalie Kelley for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift - That accent was terrible.
Michelle Rodriguez for BloodRayne - What the fuck was YOUR accent supposed to be? It wasn't British, it wasn't American, but... what WAS that shit?

WINNER 2005: TIE - Paris Hilton for House of Wax, Ashley Simpson for Undiscovered
WINNER 2004: Elena Anaya for Van Helsing

Worst Screenplay

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer for Date Movie - If I tried to sell this exact screenplay the execs would throw it right back in my face telling me how much I suck as a screenwriter and will have no future in the industry. I'm surprised to learn that Scary Movie pulled that much weight.
David Drew Gallagher, Brent Goldberg and David Wagner for National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj - I don't recall ever asking for this sequel, but seeing as though someone HAD to write it, is it so much to ask that it at least be AS good as its mediocre predecessor?
Richard Price for Freedomland - Yes, I think THIS is where they fucked it up. I can picture it now.

JULIANNE MOORE: My son... has been kidnapped.

Julianne Moore cries. She then looks up and runs away, screaming frantically.

Guinivere Turner for BloodRayne - You won't believe this bitch co-wrote American Psycho. Seriously, how does one fuck up a movie about a lesbian vampire?
Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans for Little Man - I thought White Chicks was rock bottom... but they just had to keep going down.
Kurt Wimmer for Ultraviolet - Equilibrium was not without its problems, but at least it was passable. This one... what, were the executives breathing down your back? "Needs more 'cool'". "We need her to say 'Watch me' again, here, when the bad guy says she can't." "Again?" "Yes, again."

WINNER 2005: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore for Rebound (Original), Barry W. Blaustein, Danny Jacobson, Don Rhymer, and David Sheffield for The Honeymooners (Adapted)
WINNER 2004: Chris Stokes for You Got Served (Original), John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris, and John Rogers for Catwoman (Adapted)

The Edward D. Wood Jr. Award for Worst Direction

Uwe Boll for BloodRayne - Yeah, beat all the critics you want at Boxing, your films are still shit.
Vondie Curtis-Hall for Waist Deep - The director of Glitter with Mariah Carey. It shows.
Joe Roth for Freedomland - "Alright, Julianne, I need you to cry." "Yes, let's shake the camera in this dialogue-heavy scene to make it look more intense... And Samuel, I need you to inject yourself with a needle for no reason whatsoever."
Aaron Seltzer for Date Movie - "Can we throw in another romantic comedy reference? How about a non-Date movie? A movie that's already self-aware and satirical of other movies? I mean, a reference is grounds for automatic laughter, right? Am I right?"
Keenen Ivory Wayans for Little Man - You used to be good at comedic timing. Now you're pathetic. If you can't be funny again, just stop making movies.
Kurt Wimmer for Ultraviolet - Jesus, what was with the saturation and shit? And the absence of the color red in scenes where people in white suits were being sliced up? And the helicopter exploding in mid-air for no reason? And the fact that she could ride her motorcycle on the side of a building? And the fact that this piece of shit movie was ever made?

WINNER 2005: Uwe Boll for Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Pitof for Catwoman

Most Offensive to the Eyes

Date Movie - A fat suit. The act of making fun of Wedding Crashers. A Napoleon Dynamite impersonator.... Name three things that are JUST FUCKING STUPID.
Little Man - Yeesh. Just... yeesh.
Ultraviolet - I've expressed my sentiments for this film's visuals when I criticized the director.
Waist Deep - The saturation... MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

WINNER 2005: Domino

Biggest Disappointment

Miami Vice - Goddamn it, Michael Mann, you were doing so well. What happened?
X-Men: The Last Stand - This is what happens when a studio treats a film like a product. If only you had waited for Bryan Singer...

WINNER 2005: Syriana (Achievement in Overrated Status)

Worst One-Liner

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch!" - Vinnie Jones in X-Men: The Last Stand
"Filth and lies!" - Tanya Allen in Silent Hill
"If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control." - Bow wow in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
"Ungrateful bitch." - Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne
"Watch Me." - Milla Jovovich in Ultraviolet

WINNER 2005: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - James Earl Jones in Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Asshat of the Year

20th Century Fox and Brett Ratner, for destroying X-Men.
Uwe Boll, because he's still making movies.
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, for thinking they're funny (Date Movie).
Justin Lin, for selling out without any artistic integrity (Annapolis, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift -- This is the same guy who directed Better Luck Tomorrow).
Joel Siegel, for his unprofessional display at a Clerks II screening – Actually, film critics in general for being so incredibly and unbelievably off the mark this year.
The Catholics and the Jews - For being all up-in-arms and shit. Loosen up. Quit being so offended by everything. I'm talking about the Da Vinci Code and Mel Gibson incidents respectively.

WINNER 2005: Hideo Nakata for pulling a Stephen Sommers on The Ring Two
WINNER 2004: Michael Moore for spreading propaganda with Fahrenheit 9/11 and generally being the left-wing equivalent of Rush Limbaugh.

[Pulpmariachi]

What about "Silent Hill", was that not terrible enough for ya?

[ZapRowsdower]

Oh, don't get me wrong. That was pretty terrible. I just felt the other films were worse.

[Phoenix]

Well I agree with everything but X-Men (of course, lol).

Ultraviolet was bad. My eyes still bleed.

And Texas:The Beginning was horrible too! I *almost*walked out of the theater during that one.

I managed to avoid the other Asshat nominees (thank goodness)

[LivingDeadGirl]

I've only seen one of the movie nominees (Bloodrayne) & I agree w/ everything Zap said about it. Ok, even the Madsen bit... very uninspired performance, by the rest of the cast too, but I think a lot of that had to do w/ the director. I read that Boll made the actors do the fight scenes & horseback riding without proper training, or any kind of training actually. Don't know how much of that is true though, so don't take it as gospel. He (Boll) also said that Madsen showed up drunk all the time. ;D

[Heineken Skywalker]

iamthesmitty said:

The Catholics and the Jews - For being all up-in-arms and shit. Loosen up. Quit being so offended by everything. I'm talking about the Da Vinci Code and Mel Gibson incidents respectively.

Personally, I think Mel should be nominated and not the Jews. They certainly didn't make him drink, drive and then open his big mouth and I don't think they overreacted. But I guess that's just me..
(And this is coming from someone who thought APOCALYPTO was a fantastic movie.)

phoenix said:

Well I agree with everything but X-Men (of course, lol).
I managed to avoid the other Asshat nominees (thank goodness)

Ditto.

Unless you're preparing yourself for a career in professional film criticism, why do you waste so much time going to see movies that are obviously going to be terrible? Who thought for a minute that dreck like DATE MOVIE, LITTLE MAN or ULTRAVIOLET were going to be even pretty good? And even pro film critics don't go see everything. Richard Roeper, for instance, admitted on the show two weeks ago, when broadcasting their "Worst of the Year" episode, that because it was not screened for critics, he never got to watch SAW III.

[ZapRowsdower]

My best friend is a manager at a movie theater, so when I get bored, the easiest solution is to go see a movie. So from time to time, I get curious. Or my friends get bored and say, "well, let's just see this movie - it might not be that bad." Or maybe I just want a good laugh from an Ed Wood-esque horror movie.

And on the other hand, Ultraviolet didn't look great, but it wasn't obviously terrible. I mean, I looked up the guy's filmography, and he DID do Equilibrium, which was actually pretty good.

Besides that, I really like doing the Golden Asshat awards, and like to have a lot of material to throw in there.

And in terms of Catholics and Jews, sure I'm angry at Gibson. They definitely had every right to be angry at him. But let's face it, they overdid it. And I'm not singling them out, either. Every religion does this shit. Like the Catholics and their fury over the Da Vinci Code. Or the Muslims (last year) and their rioting over... a freaking cartoon. If Mel had gone out, completely sober, on a campaign against the Jews, then I could understand the backlash. But it seems to me they're getting all up-in-arms over one wild night he had.

And I wrote a rant elsewhere (I can post it here if you'd like) about people getting easily offended, and how that is making the world a much more difficult place to live in.

[Heineken Skywalker]

I guess I just don't get that bored. Given a choice between going to the movies to see something that looks at best like it'll be average or below average, I'd just as soon stay home and watch a movie on DVD that I know I like, or catch up with an old classic film that I've never seen. Or play on the internet. Or read a magazine. Or clip my toenails. ;D
You have more free time than me. Fair enough.

As for the overreacting Jews vs the misunderstood Gibson thing, we're probably never going to agree on that one. I do agree with you that our society in general has become way too politically correct, uptight and overly sensitive about almost everything. Some albinos getting upset that the villain in The Da Vinci Code was an albino is the epitome of this. But I honestly don't think that jewish people overreacted. Gibson has not been openly ostricized from Hollywood and I don't remember any Jewish-led protests at showings of Apocalypto. I guess some asked for an apology and he met with Jewish leaders and apologized. And he was also interviewed by Diane Sawyer and really said nothing groundbreaking there. That's not really that much. At the very least the man should join AA and take some sensitivity-training classes.
And apparently there's been a lot of this foot-in-mouth disease running rampant through Hollywood lately. Soon after the Gibson incident Michael "Kramer" Richards lost his mind on stage. And now it sounds like what's-his-face (I don't watch the show so I'm not familiar with the actor) is about to be fired from "Grey's Anatomy" for slurs against a gay co-worker.
Somewhere right now, Mel Gibson is wiping his brow and going, "Whew! Thank God those two opened their mouths too so my drunken rant can be forgotten."

[Pulpmariachi]

Yeah, for the most part I'm with Heineken on this issue. I mean, come on already. If we keep going like this something like satire will never be present in the world again.

Did you see the new thing where the fast food resturant association owners are upset about that Kevin Federline commercial where he's working in a fast food resturant and they're worried that people will think working in the food industry is "demeaning and unpleasant." Well...duh.

But lemme say that I think Federline is one of the most talentless wastes of recording industry money. Instead of him, shouldn't labels actually look for someone who knows how to make music?

[Heineken Skywalker]

pulpmariachi said:

Did you see the new thing where the fast food resturant association owners are upset about that Kevin Federline commercial where he's working in a fast food resturant and they're worried that people will think working in the food industry is "demeaning and unpleasant." Well...duh.

Yeah, I heard about that on the radio. Again, way too sensitive. The commercial's a joke where Federline is a huge pop star, only he wakes up from a dream and realizes he's actually a fast food employee.
If anyone should be offended it should be Federline, but apparently he's got no shame and took the big check and ran. I figure his career trajectory will go something like this:
After this commercial, he'll be offered a cameo spoofing himself in some lowbrow comedy, maybe "Scary Movie 8". After that he'll be one of the housemates, along with some other D-List celebrities, on a future season of The Surreal Life and after that he'll hopefully disappear into oblivion.

pulpmariachi said:

But lemme say that I think Federline is one of the most talentless wastes of recording industry money. Instead of him, shouldn't labels actually look for someone who knows how to make music?

Well, he had Britney Spears' money backing him up so he got a break that a lot more talented people with a lot less money would never get. Luckily for all our sanity it seems that most of the American public didn't buy into his shtick.

[ZapRowsdower]

Worst Picture

NOMINEES:

Bloodrayne
Date Movie
Freedomland
Little Man
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Ultraviolet

And the WORST MOVIE OF 2006 IS:

Date Movie. This is quite possibly the WORST comedy ever made. If there is a comedy out there worse than this one, please enlighten me. Unless it's Epic Movie, because I'd totally believe it. But other than that, no comedy has ever been worse than this one. None. I mean, this makes Leonard Part 6 look like the Big Lebowski. This makes Rob Schneider look like Robin Williams. Napoleon Dynamite would call it "pretty much the worst video ever made". And would he be wrong? Absolutely not. Except for the "pretty much" part. Fuck this movie up and down. The filmmakers responsible deserve many years of torture.

WINNER 2005: Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Open Water

Worst Actor in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Tim Allen for The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
Jon Foster for Stay Alive
David Morrissey for Basic Instinct 2
Tyrese Gibson for Waist Deep
Kal Penn for National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj
Marlon Wayans for Little Man

And the WORST ACTOR OF 2006 IS:

Marlon Wayans for Little Man. I believe it was a rather funny deleted scene in Scary Movie 2, when Marlon Wayans' character said something ridiculous and the newscaster on TV responded, "Now that's just fuckin' stupid!" That was my reaction to just about EVERYTHING Marlon Wayans said in this movie.

WINNER 2005: The Rock for Doom
WINNER 2004: Cary Elwes for Saw

Worst Actress in a Leading Role

Nominees:

Jordana Brewster for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Meagan Good for Waist Deep
Milla Jovovich for Ultraviolet
Kristanna Loken for BloodRayne
Julianne Moore for Freedomland
Sharon Stone for Basic Instinct 2

And the WORST ACTRESS OF 2006 IS:

Julianne Moore for Freedomland. I have nothing but respect for this woman. I mean, I've seen her act her way out of a fucking straitjacket. In this film, however, she couldn't even act her way out of a paper bag with an instruction booklet on how to act your way out of a paper bag. She struggled, and struggled, and all she had to show for it were the bite marks she left on the scenery. Julianne, you're better than this.

WINNER 2005: Tara Reid for Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Hilary Duff for Raise Your Voice

Worst Actor in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Matthew Davis for BloodRayne
Taylor Handley for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Michael Madsen for BloodRayne
Anthony Ray Parker for The Marine
Shawn Wayans for Little Man
The Game for Waist Deep

And the WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR OF 2006 IS:

Anthony Ray Parker for The Marine. Thank you, sir, for playing every black character we have ever seen, except a hundred times more annoying. They could have got any other black actor to play this part. They could have got 50 Cent... FUCKING 50 CENT... and he would have done it better than this guy. Michael Richards would have a field day with this guy. Fuck yourself.

WINNER 2005: Max Thieriot for The Pacifier
WINNER 2004: B2K for You Got Served

Worst Actress in a Supporting Role

Nominees:

Abigail Bianca for The Marine
Tanya Allen for Silent Hill
Kate Beahan for The Wicker Man
Nathalie Kelley for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Michelle Rodriguez for BloodRayne

And the WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS OF 2006 IS:

Michelle Rodriguez for BloodRayne. - Being an incredibly beautiful lesbian who I would fuck in every possible position (except anal) isn't enough, senorita. Either do the English accent, or go Kevin Costner on it, but don't do this on-and-off shit where you sound like Gillian Anderson one minute and Ginger Spice the next. That's horrible.

WINNER 2005: TIE - Paris Hilton for House of Wax, Ashley Simpson for Undiscovered
WINNER 2004: Elena Anaya for Van Helsing

Worst Screenplay

Nominees:

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer for Date Movie
David Drew Gallagher, Brent Goldberg and David Wagner for National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj
Richard Price for Freedomland
Michell Gallagher and Alan McElroy for The Marine
Keenen Ivory Wayans, Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans for Little Man
Kurt Wimmer for Ultraviolet

And the WORST SCREENPLAY FOR 2006 IS:

Date Movie, written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. Take a good look at these two names, ladies and gentlemen, Before this debacle known as "The Golden Asshat Awards" was even finished, they have already made ANOTHER movie: Epic Movie. And it was just as bad, if not worse. So if you see a "spoof" movie coming up "from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie", and the Wayans brothers are nowhere to be found, go online and check the names of these writers. If it's these guys, send them a message by NOT going to see their movie. They are NOT FUCKING FUNNY.

WINNER 2005: Jon Lucas and Scott Moore for Rebound (Original), Barry W. Blaustein, Danny Jacobson, Don Rhymer, and David Sheffield for The Honeymooners (Adapted)
WINNER 2004: Chris Stokes for You Got Served (Original), John D. Brancato, Michael Ferris, and John Rogers for Catwoman (Adapted)

The Edward D. Wood Jr. Award for Worst Direction

Nominees:

Uwe Boll for BloodRayne
John Bonito for The Marine
Vondie Curtis-Hall for Waist Deep
Aaron Seltzer for Date Movie
Keenen Ivory Wayans for Little Man
Kurt Wimmer for Ultraviolet

And the WORST DIRECTOR OF 2006 IS:

Aaron Seltzer, director of Date Movie. When at the beginning of the year, a director the likes of Uwe Boll makes a movie that is already destined to be known as the worst of the year, and not two months later, some asshat manages to make one worse... that's pretty fucking bad. Considering I laughed more at BloodRayne than I did at Date Movie, that's bad. Uwe Boll at least has the Ed Wood thing going for him. What's your excuse? Do you even know what "funny" is? DO YOU? I didn't think so. You need to be shot, bound, gagged, burned alive, raped by an AIDs patient and fed to a rabid crocodile with irritable bowel syndrome. Fucker.

WINNER 2005: Uwe Boll for Alone in the Dark
WINNER 2004: Pitof for Catwoman

Most Offensive to the Eyes

Date Movie
Little Man
The Marine
Ultraviolet
Waist Deep

And the 2006 MOVIE THAT WILL HURT YOUR EYES THE MOST IS:

Date Movie. It will hurt so much, you may even cry.

WINNER 2005: Domino

Biggest Disappointment

Miami Vice
X-Men: The Last Stand

I know, only two nominees... But alas, the BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF 2006 IS:

X-Men: The Last Stand - Miami Vice WAS a big disappointment, we all know that. But Michael Mann can totally back himself up. He has Heat, Collateral and the Insider going for him. And Miami Vice... we're at an age where no one really cares if it's ruined or not. Sorry, Brett Ratner, but as entertaining as Rush Hour was, it's not enough. You followed up two excellent, poignant comic book movies - movies that rose above the comic book genre, mind you. You followed up two BRYAN SINGER movies. With THIS. Do I really need to comment on it? Taking on the Phoenix saga, one of the most interesting X-Men storylines, and managing to make it not as interesting makes YOU the loser in all this.

WINNER 2005: Syriana (Achievement in Overrated Status)

Worst One-Liner

Nominees:

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch!" - Vinnie Jones in X-Men: The Last Stand
"Filth and lies!" - Tanya Allen in Silent Hill
"I hate cops. That and pop rocks." - Anthony Ray Parker in The Marine
"If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control." - Bow wow in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
"Ungrateful bitch." - Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne
"Watch Me." - Milla Jovovich in Ultraviolet

And the WORST ONE-LINER OF 2006 IS:

The internet geek's wet dream, when the Juggernaut quotes A FAN-MADE DUBBING OF THE CARTOON, by saying... "Don't you know who I am? I'm the JUGGERNAUT, bitch!" And then I proceed to cringe.

WINNER 2005: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" - James Earl Jones in Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

Asshat of the Year

20th Century Fox and Brett Ratner, for destroying X-Men.
Uwe Boll, because he's still making movies.
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, for thinking they're funny (Date Movie).
Justin Lin, for selling out without any artistic integrity.
Joel Siegel, for his unprofessional display at a Clerks II screening – Actually, film critics in general for being so incredibly and unbelievably off the mark this year.
The Catholics and the Jews - For being all up-in-arms and shit. Loosen up. Quit being so offended by everything. I'm talking about the Da Vinci Code and Mel Gibson incidents respectively.

And the ASSHAT OF 2006 IS:

20th Century Fox and Brett Ratner. I don't give a shit how pissed off you are at Bryan Singer. If it's better to wait, then FUCKING WAIT. And besides, how can you blame Singer for wanting to do a Superman movie? Are you gonna be that fucking dense? He's an artist. Ratner is not. And to give a series that had an A-List director going for it (he directed The Usual Suspects after all) to a third-rate "Gimme-a-paycheck" director like Brett Ratner is lunacy. The critics almost had this award in the bag, but they didn't destroy my beloved X-Men, YOU did. And for that, YOU are the asshats of 2006.

WINNER 2005: Hideo Nakata for pulling a Stephen Sommers on The Ring Two
WINNER 2004: Michael Moore for spreading propaganda with Fahrenheit 9/11 and generally being the left-wing equivalent of Rush Limbaugh.