Minnesota's Excellent Political Climate Continues

[Quorthon]

From Tucker Carlson on MSNBC's website:

"• January 23, 2006 | 11:46 a.m. ET

Vampire politics (Willie Geist, Situation Senior Producer)

Jonathon Sharkey isn't the first politician to be accused of being an evil bloodsucker. He might, however, be the first to accuse himself of that. Better known to his base as "The Impaler", Sharkey is a self-proclaimed vampire, Satanist, and semi-professional wrestler. If he gets his way (and vampires typically do), he'll also be the next governor of Minnesota.

In a shrewd political maneuver clearly intended to raise his national profile for an inevitable third-party presidential run, Sharkey discussed his campaign platform with Tucker on "The Situation" this week. He proved himself to be not some wacko with fangs and a cape (well, he does have cape), but rather a common-sense vampire with real solutions for the real problems facing Minnesotans. Sure, some shortsighted voters will have trouble overlooking the fact that Sharkey feeds on human blood, but let's be real here, is that really the most disgusting thing a candidate for public office has ever done? Bill Clinton (allegedly) hooked up with Paula Jones, for God's sake. Now that's offensive.

If you're a junkie for Minnesota politics like I am, you know the 2006 gubernatorial election will be decided by voters' answer to one central question: do you or do you not favor the public impalement of drug dealers, terrorists and other violent criminals? If you answered "yes" to what really amounts to a rhetorical question (what right-thinking person could oppose it?), then there is finally a candidate who speaks for you. Sharkey has pledged to bring a little taste of 15th Century Transylvania right there to The Land of 10,000 Lakes. Convicted criminals will be impaled in front of the statehouse. That's right, stakes will be driven through them. How's that for a law-and-order candidate?

When your governor has a name like "The Impaler", you can be pretty sure impalement is more than just another empty campaign promise. If, however, Sharkey runs into any unforeseen legal obstacles with the whole impaling business, he pledged on our show to send Sicilian crime families after the drug dealers. He might have some trouble locating Sicilian crime families in the greater Twin Cities area, but let's cross that bridge when we get to it.

As you laugh to yourself about the idea of a Satanist vampire sitting in the Minnesota governor's mansion, remember one thing: a professional wrestler nicknamed "The Body" kept that seat warm not too long ago. Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey has my formal endorsement. I'm getting on the bandwagon while there's still room. See you on "The Situation"!"


The Impaler has run into some problems and was arrested for an outstanding warrant from Indiana. Apparently, an ex-girlfriend of his is a real psycho.


Here's his wacky webpage: www.jonathonforgovernor.us

12 of those 13 initiatives sound really good. Which sucks, his image will totally ruin his chances for Governor.

But hey, if "The Body" can do it...

[Phoenix]

This guy sounds like a loon to me.......

(WCCO) Milaca, Minn. A fringe candidate for governor who played up his satanic side -- and pledged public impalement for terrorists -- wound up behind bars Tuesday thanks to a sharp-eyed sheriff's dispatcher.

Jonathon Sharkey, 41, of Princeton, Minn. was arrested Monday night on two felony counts from Indiana, said Mike Smith, the Mille Lacs County jail administrator. One warrant was for escape, another for stalking against a former girlfriend.

"(Authorities are) very well aware of my ex-fiancee's vicious and malicious attacks against me," Sharkey said.

In a phone interview from jail, Sharkey said he did nothing wrong because he never signed his probation papers.

"I never signed the order of probation to begin with, never agreeing to it," Sharkey said. "Hence, if the contract was not signed, it's null and void."

Buried in the paper trails of lawsuits is an even stranger claim: that Sharkey once faked his own death.

"I overdosed on over 120 tranquilizers," Sharkey told WCCO-TV. "That definitely lowers your heartbeat real good." (PHOENIX EDIT: main reason i say he's a loon)

Sharkey launched his campaign last month under the banner of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party. His platform includes an emphasis on education, tax breaks for farmers and better benefits for veterans, but he also said he favored impaling certain wrongdoers in front of the State Capitol.

Sheriff Brent Lindgren said Sharkey's warrants were discovered by a dispatcher making routine warrant queries. Lindgren said the dispatcher had seen news stories about Sharkey's campaign and recognized the name on the warrant -- Rocky Flash -- as a name Sharkey had used as a pro wrestler.

Sharkey was arrested by police in Princeton without incident, Lindgren said. He remained in the jail Tuesday pending extradition proceedings.

Sharkey said he plans to fight his extradition to Indiana. He is being held on $100,000 bond for escape charges. No bail has been set for the stalking charges.

Julie Carpenter, Sharkey's partner, visited Sharkey in jail Tuesday. She said he's fighting to keep his campaign going.

"He's fighting it," Carpenter said. "He said something about filing a habeas corpus. I don't know what that is, so don't ask me. He's fighting extradition, 'cause he thinks it's wrong."

Sharkey has previously run for Congress in Indiana and Florida. He formed a campaign committee to run for governor of Minnesota, but actual filing doesn't occur until July.

Sharkey took his campaign for governor of Minnesota to national airwaves last week on the Fox News Channel, describing response to his campaign by saying "unfortunately, the witch hunts are alive and well."

It's a witch hunt when it's him, but impaling other convicts is ok..........c'mon. This guy just loves attention.

[Quorthon]

I think it would serve him better if he used the Impaling deal as a metaphor for "getting tough" on crime.

He's got a wacky history, no doubt. I've read through chunks of his site and he's got great ideas for government, taxes, and the like, but occasionally sounds just batty.

But when you get right down to it, how is he really different from any other politician? This one just puts his weirdness out in the open for all to see. The rest of 'em hide their evil ways.

Even if elected, he'd have an immesurably hard time trying to get the whole "impaling" thing to work anyway. But the rest of the stuff he wants to do sounds just fine to me.

Except pulling out of Iraq prematurely. Stay until the job's done. And you know the UN want success there, they'd just love a jumping ground into Iran.

Imaple terrorists, sex offenders, and murderers? It won't happen, but I'm all for it. Better than coddling them like we do now.

[Phoenix]

I dont know about "coddling" - my stepfather is a Baltimore city cop and there is no "coddling" of hardcore criminals.

Our justice system DOES coddle a lot of white collar punks, but that is a different argument altogether. I just think this guy is way too wacky to fit into the political world. And didn't Minnesota learn it's lesson by voting in Jesse Ventura? I thought his popularity was way down by the time his term finished - but can't say I've really read up on it.

[Quorthon]

Jesse was actually a good governor. But people refused to take him seriously, which always pissed me off. He started up the Light Rail system (kinda like trolleys/subways) for the Twin Cities Metro area which was promptly ruined by other politicians.

When there was a budget surplus, he gave that money back to the taxpayers

And you gotta remember, there's a lot of Christians in this state--when Jesse said the truth, that organized religion is for closed-minded people, a lot of Minnesotans refused to like anything he did.

I noticed similar hell for Ahhhnold in California. He had three (as I recall) fantastic ideas to reform the government, and that's primarily why he got elected. But then, the local congress promptly destroyed all his initiatives.

Jonathan Sharkey's plan of opening 13 non-Indian casinos and using the profits for our education system is brilliant (something I've long said should be done). Harsher punishments for inebriated motorists? Good. Boot camp for the kiddies? I'm all for it. Tax relief for farmers? Please do. And he's honest. I don't care if he's revealing some less-than-pleasant things about himself, I admire the balls that takes.

This state is also hellishly liberal. We'll see how "tolerant" those liberals really are to him.