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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 3, 2004 18:42:26 GMT -5
As opposed to the movies I felt were well worth the price of admission, Hollywood should be paying YOU ten bucks to see any of the following movies:
Chasing Liberty (January 9th, 2004)
Mandy Moore is a very talented actress. Hollywood, please stop wasting her talent. Thanks.
Torque (January 16th, 2004)
"From the producers of the Fast and the Furious, XXX and S.W.A.T." is not a very good title. What? It's a TAGLINE? Either way, the movie sucked.
Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! (January 23rd, 2004)
The concept was nice, but the execution... ugh...
You Got Served (January 30th, 2004)
From the director of House Party 4... Come on, now, even the TITLE is stupid.
Catch That Kid (February 6th, 2004)
Enough with the Spy Kids ripoffs. Please.
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (February 20th, 2004)
The Lindsay Lohan fan in me wanted to see this. Until I walked out of it. This movie was annoying.
Against the Ropes (February 20th, 2004)
Well, everyone else missed it. Why shouldn't you? Meg Ryan, Erin Brockovich has already been done. No Oscar for you this year.
Twisted (February 27th, 2004)
Also known as SAME OLD SHIT. Hollywood, please stop wasting Samuel L. Jackson's talent.
Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London (March 12th, 2004)
Yet another sequel nobody asked for.
Taking Lives (March 19th, 2004)
Oh, the potential. This movie was sporting the cast of Jolie, Sutherland, Hawke, and Rowlands. I blame the writers.
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 3, 2004 19:01:23 GMT -5
Walking Tall (April 2nd, 2004)
Sure, the fight scenes were good, but there's NO STORY. Really huge letdown after the Rundown.
Home on the Range (April 2nd, 2004)
Yep, Disney has indeed LOST it.
Prince & Me, The (April 2nd, 2004)
It was better the first time I saw it... back when it was called the Princess Diaries.
Godsend (April 30th, 2004)
A bunch of people got together and tried to be M. Night Shyamalan. You can see the exact point where the writer said "fuck it".
Envy (April 30th, 2004)
Ok, it's not all bad. Christopher Walken's part is really worth watching. But the rest of that movie... I mean, isn't it supposed to be a comedy? Why wasn't I laughing?
Van Helsing (May 7th, 2004)
Somebody done fucked up big this time. Thanks for wasting Hugh Jackman's talent. Now leave him alone and let him play Logan again. Thank you. I have expressed my disgust elsewhere, so I won't bother you with it here.
New York Minute (May 7th, 2004)
I have seen 10 minutes of this movie. It was frightening. What a waste of Eugene Levy.
Soul Plane (May 28th, 2004)
Tom Arnold is the lead in a "ghetto comedy". What does that tell you?
White Chicks (June 23rd, 2004)
I gave this one a chance. I have enjoyed the Wayans Brothers' films in the past. This was not one of those films. If a black guy in bad make-up is funny to you, by all means go see this.
Catwoman (July 23rd, 2004)
It wasn't all bad, surprisingly. Halle Berry did a fine job at playing Catwoman. But the villain was MST3K-worthy, the soundtrack was like nails on a chalkboard BAD, and there was a completely out-of-place basketball scene. So, I'd mostly suggest to STAY AWAY.
Alien Vs. Predator (August 13th, 2004)
Sorry, it just didn't do it for me. It was better than Van Helsing, but that's not saying much.
Yu-Gi-Oh! (August 13th, 2004)
Do I REALLY have to explain why this was a bad movie?
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Post by Heineken Skywalker on Sept 3, 2004 19:29:05 GMT -5
You can tell Smitty works in a theater and sees movies for free. There is no way anyone who actually has to pay to see movies would see so many, not to mention so many bad ones. Thank God, I only saw two of these, VAN HELSING & AVP, and both with reservations. You're right though, Hollywood would actually have to pay me to see most of these.  |
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 3, 2004 20:08:20 GMT -5
Open Water (August 6th, 2004)
Trust me, you don't want to see this. I'm not kidding. Stay away. Do you like watching paint dry? Because if you do, you're gonna have more fun doing that than you would watching Open Water. Do you like to watch a couple bickering incessently in the middle of the ocean? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. Stay away. Trust me, you don't want to see this. Ever.
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Post by Termination on Sept 4, 2004 1:58:28 GMT -5
Hmm....... Chasing Liberty - (Pass) Torque - (Blind Buy) Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! - (Pass) You Got Served - (Pass) Catch That Kid - (Pass) Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - (Pass) Against the Ropes - (Pass) Twisted - (Will Blind Buy) Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London - (Pass) Taking Lives - (Blind Buy, excellent film) Walking Tall - (Will Blind Buy) Home on the Range - (Pass) Prince & Me, The - (Pass) Godsend - (Pass) Envy - (Pass) Van Helsing - (Will Blind Buy) New York Minute - (Pass) Soul Plane - (Pass) White Chicks - (Pass) Catwoman - (Will Blind Buy) Alien Vs. Predator - (Will Blind Buy) Yu-Gi-Oh! - (Pass) Only 6/22 on that list, I'm interested in getting. I guess thats a good thing.  Have Taking Lives already.  |
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Post by Bartwald on Sept 4, 2004 4:32:36 GMT -5
Has anyone else seen Envy? From what I know the movie is a stinker extraordinaire (except for Walken, yeah) and it's difficult for me to believe it: with such cast?!
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 13, 2004 1:09:23 GMT -5
The Clearing (July 2nd, 2004)
Wow, was this boring or what? This movie's going to end up showing on Lifetime twice a week. It's really boring. REALLY boring. A majority of the movie is Helen Mirren laying down and swimming in her pool... when it SHOULD have been focusing on Willem Dafoe and Robert Redford.
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 14, 2004 15:50:10 GMT -5
The Cookout (September 3rd, 2004)
There are only two characters in this movie who are actually funny (Tim Meadows and Queen Latifah), and they have about 10 minutes on screen combined. The rest of the movie might get you a chuckle here and there, but for the most part, you'll feel very out of place.
THE SMITTY DOES NOT APPROVE.
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Post by LivingDeadGirl on Sept 14, 2004 17:41:48 GMT -5
That sounds like 'Bringing Down The House'...the only things worth watching it for were Queen Latifah & Eugene Levy.
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 14, 2004 17:48:58 GMT -5
To tell you the truth, Queen Latifah was weak here in comparison to Bringing Down the House (which I really enjoyed, btw)... but she does have a couple of facial expressions in this movie that had me laughing out loud.
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 21, 2004 0:53:50 GMT -5
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers (September 17th, 2004)
I took a break at work, and sat down to watch some of this. This was the worst excuse for a film I have ever wasted a break on. Worse than Soul Plane? Perhaps. Avoid.
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Post by Phoenix on Sept 21, 2004 10:15:14 GMT -5
Open Water (August 6th, 2004) Trust me, you don't want to see this. I'm not kidding. Stay away. Do you like watching paint dry? Because if you do, you're gonna have more fun doing that than you would watching Open Water. Do you like to watch a couple bickering incessently in the middle of the ocean? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. Stay away. Trust me, you don't want to see this. Ever. Yikes! I def will not see now. I was thinking about it...but I'll trust your opinion. Especially with as many turkeys as you saw! I can't believe you saw that many bad movies. I steered clear of most of them, except Catwoman (the horror!) and Van Helsing (all those ads compelled me to go). |
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Sept 26, 2004 12:20:14 GMT -5
The Forgotten (September 24th, 2004)
Just as I feared, this was an extremely predictable Dark City ripoff. While Dark City's premise was original, the Forgotten looks like a bad episode of the X-Files. Save your money and go rent Dark City.
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Post by ZapRowsdower on Oct 10, 2004 2:01:24 GMT -5
Raise Your Voice (October 8th, 2004)
Thank you, Hollywood, for once again insulting my intelligence.
As much as this may come as a shock, I don't blame Hilary Duff for this. Of course, her performance in this movie was a step down from her performance in A Cinderella Story. Apparently, she still can't get crying right.
But the problem with the movie was NOT Hilary Duff. It was a mixture of many things. HORRIBLE writing and HORRIBLE direction being the main points. The movie moved WAY too fast, was riddled with clichés, and the editors should never, ever be allowed to edit movies in Hollywood again.
The movie is about a girl who goes to a music school in Los Angeles to learn how to sing. Problem is, any part of the movie where she DOES sing, she's lip-synching to a synthesized track. Hilary Duff, either learn how to sing or stop singing. Consider continuing with your acting career, and practice your crying. You're getting better.
I never realized until today that I had never, ever walked out on a movie before. Well, I suppose there's a first time for everything because I walked out of this shit. This is coming from someone who was able to sit through Van Helsing, AvP, and Catwoman.
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Have Taking Lives already. 
