Just Watched Movies (2010)

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Red Sands-Group of US soldiers in Iraq accidentally destroy a sacred Djinn statue on a training mission, and when they arrive at their assigned outpost, are suddenly inundated with all sorts of creepy stuff that makes them think something supernatural is going on. A lot worse than it sounds, or even should be, especially since this one has a really good amount of creepy scenes that are ingenious, suspenseful and come off rather well, it's just that those few creepy moments are all that's good with this one. No energy in the pacing, a lack of suspense to just about everything else and no real explanation for anything going on. Massively flawed but had high potential.

Whisper-Group of thieves hope to make a quick buck with kidnapping a rich family's boy, only to realize that he may be the spawn of Satan. Again, a real lack of energy or momentum in the pacing which leads to this one feeling a lot longer than it really is due to the lethargic pacing, plus several ideas here are just not fully developed, but once it gets going, this one is actually a lot of fun. Definitely better than expected, with some nice action at the end, a couple of creepy moments here and there and a real fun time.

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The Watch-Graduate student decides to use her field-work requirements in the class looking over a fire-watch tower in the middle of the forest, and comes face-to-face with a lonely ghost looking for attention that may or may not be truly dead. As can be told from that, it's really not the most clear-cut film out there, deciding on going for a rather good twist at the end which is nicely unexpected, but it never really plays up into it the way it should've done, resulting in it coming across rather forced and unneeded. Plus, this just takes up way too much time to get going without doing anything of real interest anyway, so it's a really dull and lifeless ghost film without much in the way to really enjoy about it.

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The Devil's Ground-A woman picks up a traumatized woman on the side of the road, and she recounts how a killer killed her friends while they were investigating an ancient Indian burial ground nearby. You can tell where this one is going pretty much right from the start, so it's fairly easy to see what's coming, but the fun is how you're getting there. Great stalking scenes, some good action sequences and a fairly fun way of getting around to the twist makes for some fun, even though this one clearly could've used even some gore, there's practically nothing.

Splintered-A group of films decides to investigate a recent spate of vicious animal attacks in a nearby town, but can't imagine the horror behind what was actually responsible. Truth be told, I'm making this sound far more thrilling than it really is, as this one was pretty unspectacular. It tries to be a thinking man's werewolf film, meaning that you never once see the creature at all, no one transforms into one, and the only time it's ever even in the movie is the final ten minutes for some admittedly fun and suspenseful stalking scenes, and a couple other big ones before that, but even still, this one was woefully disappointing.

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Pathology-A medical student finds that the other class-members are competing in a series of games where they kill random people and dare the others to determine the cause of death. A thriller more than anything else, despite a solid premise, this one just never really gelled for me. I had a hard time staying interested in what was going on, despite watching it early in the morning, and my fading interest never was rewarded with anything positive. I fear a revisit is in order, as I really kind of zoned out and don't really remember the last half, but it's still not that good so far.

The House Next Door-Lifetime film about a couple who are always front-and-center when the house next door to them causes the couples who enter to destroy themselves. Call me crazy, but when I watch a haunted house film, there should be several things that occur: 1-More time inside the house than outside. 2-Actions that indicate something supernatural is going on. 3-No sense of realism. Instead, we get all of these together in this one, and is a very disappointing watch because of them.

Boogeyman-A troubled man returns to his childhood home and finds that the supernatural creature he blamed for his father's death when he was a boy is a real entity and beginning a new rampage of terror. After the crap beforehand, this was bound to look like a classic compared to them, so this might be somewhat heightened, but I found it oddly enjoyable despite not having any real clue what was going on. It seemed to transport itself to any time and place at will, oftentimes within the same sequence, and it was really hard to get a handle on that and the rating really lowers the gore here. Otherwise, the attacks are quite nice and creepy, the multitude of action scenes is good and the finale is rather well-done. Might be a bit lower compared to different films, but it was enjoyable.

Hack!-Students traveling to a secluded island for a field study session run afoul of their 'normal' hosts who partake in the filming of amateur snuff films. Despite the premise, this one is actually goofy and quite silly, provides a lot of actually funny moments that are played off beautifully here due to the nature of the action. Mix in a little suspense here and there and a slew of graphic, gory kills and this one was a highly enjoyable entry that was a lot of fun. Might be too silly and stupid for some, but those with a hankering for cheese will enjoy this one.

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Passengers-Utterly lame drama trying to pass itself off as a horror film, doesn't even work on a thriller basis and just an all-around bore. Lame twist, no scares, no intent to scare or derive suspense from the proceedings, and a PG-13 rating all combine to make it awful. A true heaping peace of crap.

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Silk-Really hard to describe Asian ghost film, about a team of paranormal investigators that find a ghost trapped in an apartment complex and decide to capture it in order to see if the ghost will be able to remember details in it's life. Now, even though that is the main point of the film, this is all done in a matter of twenty minutes and the rest of the film is about their following the ghost on its path as it lives out the last day of it's life, which is pretty complex and confusing at times. When it feels like being a horror film, it's a really good one, complete with the usual flair found in these Asian films, a couple of chilling moments and a healthy dose of suspense, but it's far too convoluted elsewhere to really make an impact.

Left in Darkness-Woman and her best friend decide to attend a bash at her boyfriend's sorority house on her birthday, but when she passes out, she finds herself the only one awake in a strange world where she is chased by ravenous demons. Now, this one is even more convoluted and complex, not necessarily confusing, and since I didn't have the luxury of watching it on tape and instead on first-run broadcast, a lot of it went over my head and it manages to both be unique and original as well as over-thought and too much unnecessary plot. The demon action is fine if not all that interesting, picks up nicely at the end, but it's just way too hard to get around the convoluted storyline.

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The Ninth Gate-Book broker is given assignment to verify copies of a rare book supposedly destroyed hundreds of years ago, and discovers that an evil sect is after the books in order to raise Satan. Perfectly watchable, but much more of a thriller than outright horror film, which is especially noticeable in it's classy feel, oftentimes not even wanting to go for a scare because it tries to be higher art than a silly little horror film. It's still pretty suspenseful and there's enough to stay interested in, it just needed to get a little dirtier and actually go through with it's subject matter intact.

The Land that Time Forgot-Modern-day remake of the original, a usual Sci-Fi Channel entry. No need to go any further, this one is pretty much standard operating procedure: utterly atrocious CGI, cliched story, graphic deaths and tons of action. Follows the original pretty close, adding to the cliched factor, but it's a lot better than you would expect.

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The Lost World: Jurassic Park-Man, where do I start with this one. It has not aged well for me at all, despite long holding out belief that this was the best of the series. Too much stupidity, too much utterly unconvincing and unbelievable actions to further the story further into stupidity, less realism in the Dinos, and far too many scenes of eye-rolling action that merely shouldn't happen. Despite all that, some of the action here is a lot of fun, there's a couple of great sequences, and the San Diego scenes are all top-notch. I think the bad here slightly outweighs the good, and it's overall mediocre, but overall I think I need to stop watching these movies since I won't like any of them anymore if my current streak continues on.

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In Dreams-Stupid, terrible and just utterly bad. Ruins only one good moment in here with a series of scenes that fail to even remotely come close to being horror, and a never-ending series of lame, unexplained sequences doom this one further. Absolutely no interest here, and that's even fast-forwarding through more than half of it.

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Fear-Not the film with Reese Witherspoon and Mark Wahlberg, but actually a fairly competent slasher where a psychic working for the police is forced to deal with the fact that the killer she's trying to capture is also a psychic as well, and using that against her to continue out his rampage. It gets really silly at times, but some of it is genuinely suspenseful, including two really well-done stalking scenes where each one is connected to the other without them knowing it, and a spectacular sequence where he connects to her during a dinner celebration and murders a victim while doing so, which comes off fantastically. It even has a really good finale inside a theme park, so this one isn't bad at all, but the inherent silliness and lack of gore in the kill scenes kinda hurt this one a little.

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Autopsy-Mardi Gras revelers get into an accident close to a run-down hospital in the bayou and must deal with a collection of psychotic staffers that intend to do more than merely fix their injuries. Easily the best of the films in this collection (it should be noted all films seen were of the After Dark Horrorfest for 2008, I think. I forget which part they are) due to some great atmosphere, fantastic gore from a series of brutal and inspired kills and a relentless pace that keeps it going. A few minor flaws are included, but definitely a lot of fun that works really well.

Perkins' 14-A policeman investigating a child-abuse claim finds that the kidnapper is holding secrets far more sinister than they could've imagined. Frankly, the first hour of this is pure, unadulterated shit, merely through the continued insistence and focus on material not in the slightest bit interesting, and that leaves this one with an incredible mountain to overcome that is given an admittedly damn decent attempt to right it through a fantastic extended action/stalking sequence through the town. Had the beginning actually featured material we cared for, this one would've been really good.

Slaughter-Woman attempting to remove herself from a terrible home situation finds herself in a worse one after taking refuge with a friend out at her farm. Terrible, terrible and terrible would describe this one, dull beyond belief and featuring a twist so ludicrous and lame it doesn't offer up anything of virtue. Some nice gore and nudity are found, so it does have something to offer, but, again, it's just surrounded by crap not all that interesting.

Dying Breed-Friends searching the Australian outback for reports of a Tazmanian Devil find something far more deadly lurking in the bush. See my thoughts for Perkins' 14, repeat here, only end up with the overall feelings of Slaughter.

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Project: Metalbeast-Scientist takes a dead soldier and reanimates him into a cyborg, not realizing that he was bitten by a werewolf before he died and comes back as an armor-plated beast. Cheesy beyond belief, but also damn fun as well, with an impressive-looking beast, lots of great gore and a couple really good stalking scenes at the end, and a finale with a ton of action in it. The entire premise could use a little more fleshing out (the fact that he was bitten before death, resulting in the wounds appearing on his body that go completely missed in an autopsy before being selected for the experiment is a big one here) but you won't be too concerned, as it's mostly about the werewolf ripping people to shreds, exactly what they should be doing.

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Altered-A group of alien abductees kidnap one of the aliens who was responsible for their plight and try to take some revenge on it. I couldn't really care less about what happened here, as it seemed to be a mix of Torture Film and Psychological Thriller since they all take turns ganging up on the others while trying to weed out their torture, and in the end, I just couldn't care less. The torture moments and the opening heist of the alien are just about the only good parts, and they're not that great to start with.

Pathology-I mentioned about a month ago I wanted to watch this one again to see if I missed anything, turns out I didn't. Apparently I zoned out on a couple of sex scenes, but that's not saying much since the ones who get naked should've kept their clothes on. It just never seems to end either, with a perfect way to end it occurring twenty minutes before the movie's over, leading to a lot of needless scenes after that which aren't scary or horrifying at all. Didn't miss anything.

Friday the 13th (2009)-Well, it's nowhere near the top of the list of my favorite remakes, but I'll say that, along with a host of flaws, the good stuff here overwhelms and overtakes it, to the point of making it really above-average and almost into really great. Surprised with this one, turned out really good and better than I thought it would.

Terror at London Bridge-A famous bridge from the Whitechapel district of London is moved to small-town Arizona, bringing with it the ghost of Jack the Ripper who begins his rampage anew in modern times. Actually surprisingly good for what it was, despite a few missteps here and there that aren't so inviting. A romance angle which takes up the entire middle portion of the film being the biggest offender, but otherwise there's some really creepy stalking scenes in here, the beginning is about as atmospheric a chase scene as there's been done in these kinds of films and the ending is a real blast. Just should've been sped up a little bit more.

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TerrorVision-A group of children find that their new satellite antenna is being used as a homing beacon for a race of aliens looking to conquer the planet. Not gonna say much more here, as if you can't tell from that plot description, this one here is pure, unadulterated prime-choice 80s cheese. Slimy puppets, 80s fashion and music on full-display, a goofy sense of fun, its all here, and only if you can stand this stuff will you find anything good here. If you like it serious and frightening, consider this the plague and you don't have any vaccine at all. If you like camp, buy a ticket and enjoy the ride.

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Sleepstalker-A woman discovers that a serial killer she put away years ago has returned to continue a rampage of terror he started that she interrupted. Far, far better than it should be, despite a hokey premise and a bunch of rather confusing and nonsensical storyline departures. We get a big hulking killer, tons of great kills and some suspenseful stalking scenes to go along with it, so it manages to stay quite interesting all the way out.