The 2009 Movie Genre of the Month

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Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise-1987
I said earlier in the month that I was pleasantly surprised by the first one and would've liked to know more about the series, and can know say that this has been a rather enjoyable series so far, as this one was rather enjoyable and much more entertaining than expected. Pretty much follows the same set-up as the first one (their persecuted by others based on their looks, form an alliance and fight back, eventually winning out over their jock-headed tormenters) and suffers from a sense of been-there-done-that, but I can deal with that due to my horror-watching, and it doesn't affect the film that much. Not as many laugh-out-loud moments, but still enough to not feel like you've wasted your time with it.
7.5/10

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STAR TREK: GENERATIONS (1994)

The seventh film in the STAR TREK film series, and the first to feature the NEXT GENERATION crew, Picard, Data, Riker, etc.
The story starts with the maiden voyage of the third Starship Enterprise, a media-filled affair that features three guests of honor, retired Starfleet officers James T. Kirk, Montgomery Scott and Pavel Chekov. The not fully functional ship and its unprepared crew are forced into action to rescue two transport ships from a mysterious energy ribbon called the Nexus. They manage to rescue some of the passengers, but unfortunately, it appears that Kirk has been killed in one last act of heroism.
Flash-forward seventy-eight years to the crew of the Enterprise-D, where Capt. Picard and crew encounter the same Nexus and a mad scientist (Malcolm McDowell) who has no qualms about destroying entire star systems in order to get back into the Nexus. The Nexus is kind of like a fantasy dimension that gives one the feeling of complete happiness and fulfillment.
Ironically, all of the best scenes in this film are the scenes that feature Kirk (William Shatner). Shatner just seems to be having a lot of fun here and steals every scene, while Picard and company seem almost boring. And the stuff with Data and his emotion chip being out of control is mostly just kind of lame.
A not great, but not awful first film for the NEXT GENERATION cast, but a decent final appearance for Kirk/Shatner.

6/10

STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT (1996)

Now, this is more like it.
Picard and the crew of the Enterprise are sucked back in time to mid 21st century, while pursuing The Borg, a collective of half-humanoid/half-machine beings who are intent on assimilating Earth into their collective and stopping scientist Zefram Cochrane from making his famous first warp flight. This flight would lead to first contact with alien beings and point humans in the direction of peace and unification and the creation of the The Federation and Starfleet.
This time out, learning from the mistakes that were made in the first NEXT GENERATION film, this movie is a lot more action-packed, almost playing like STAR TREK meets ALIENS. There is also more humor sprinkled throughout the film. The Borg are a much better, and creepier, adversary and there are some good performances from guest stars James Cromwell, Alfre Woodard and Alice Krige as the Borg Queen.

8/10

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For no particular reason, the genre/category for August is...

SWORDS, SPEARS & ARROWS

Basically, any film that features main characters that use ancient or medieval weapons like swords, spears, arrows, knives, etc.
Also, because they tend to use sharp weapons like knives and machetes, this does not mean "slasher" movies. Think more along the lines of films with sword fights, or films that feature battle scenes between ancient armies, films set in ancient Greece or Rome, gladiators, pirates, etc. Fantasy films set in ancient times or mythical worlds, where they use that type of weaponry, are fine too.
The films can be set in modern times too, as long as the main character(s) are seen using these types of weapons at least some of the time.

As usual, all movies have to have been theatrical releases. No made for tv or made for cable movies, ie: HBO, Sci-Fi Channel, etc., are not eligible. No television mini-series either.

I'll announce the next genre or category on September 1st .

[Heineken Skywalker]

Started out with a couple of Robin Hood movies:

ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES (1991)

Kevin Costner plays Robin of Loxley in this updated version of the Robin Hood legend. Foregoing an English accent and the green tights and feathered hat, he at first doesn't look or sound like the "traditional" Robin Hood most movie fans are used to, ie: Errol Flynn, but all the swashbuckling and derring-do are pretty much kept intact. Morgan freeman plays a new character, a Moor named Azeem, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is Maid Marian, and Alan Rickman steals the show as the Sherrif of Nottingham, playing him more as villainous comic relief.

Tries to give a more realistic spin to the legend and it's a pretty good attempt at updating Robin Hood into an Indiana Jones-type action-adventure, but it does get to be too long and overstay it's welcome.

6.5/10

ROBIN HOOD: MEN IN TIGHTS (1993)

A couple of years after Costner's take on the story, Mel Brooks decided it was time to Skewer the legend, unfortunately, this is nowhere near Brooks' classics like BLAZING SADDLES and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. Instead, Brooks rehashes a ton of old jokes that I could see coming a mile away and even steals jokes from his own better movies.
Cary Elwes does a decent job in the lead role, good enough in fact, that he probably could've played Robin in a serious movie on the subject matter. And by far, the best scene features the late great Dom Deluise doing a spot-on "Brando as The Godfather" impression. But overall, the jokes miss much more than they hit, imho. Not as bad as recent parody movies like MEET THE SPARTANS, SUPERHERO MOVIE, etc., but not that good either.

5/10

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WILLOW (1988)

An ancient prophecy claims a newborn baby will grow up to put an end to the reign of an evil queen, so when the baby ends up in a village of little people called nelwyns, a farmer named Willow (Warwick Davis) is appointed to the task of protecting the baby and taking her back to her people.
Along the way he meets others who join him on his journey, including a swordsman (Val Kilmer) and a race of tiny people called Brownies and together they face trolls and the queen's evil forces.

Writer George Lucas is obviously a big fan of fantasy and "The Hero's Journey", among others. With WILLOW, he tries to do for sword & sorcery epics what he did for sci-fi/fantasy with STAR WARS and 1930's serials with RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. You know, throw all his influences in a blender and make a tasty summer film smoothie, but here the influences are a little too obvious and derivative. He clearly "borrows" from everything from J.R.R. Tolkien to the story of Moses.
What saves it from being a total wash-out are likable characters, some cool late 80's special effects, including the first ever use of on-screen "morphing", and the overall sense of fun. It's like a campier, less serious LORD OF THE RINGS.
Kilmer is entertaining as Madmartigan, a swashbuckling anti-hero, in the mold of Han Solo, and Warwick Davis is good in the leading man role, after previously playing an Ewok.

7/10

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (2008)

Continues the adventures of the Pevensie siblings. A year has passed since they left Narnia, but when they return, at the summons of Prince Caspian, they find that about 1300 years have actually passed in "Narnia Time". Narnia is now under the rule of the evil King Miraz, the uncle of Caspian, Narnia's rightful ruler.
This time the cast is joined by little actors Peter Dinklage and Warwick Davis, the hardest working little person in show business, (RETURN OF THE JEDI, WILLOW, LEPRECHAUN series, RAY, HARRY POTTER series, etc.)

Great special effects, especially on the mythical creatures, and some amazing battle sequences make this one as good, if not better, than the first Narnia film.

8/10

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10,000 BC (2008)

One part APOCALYPTO, one part QUEST FOR FIRE and a whole lot of cheese are served up by Roland Emmerich, the director of GODZILLA '98 and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. I guess that should've been my first warning.

See one tribe speak perfect English while every other tribe speaks unrecognizable ancient languages, yet they can all seemingly understand each other. See wooly mammoths used to help build pyramids. See a not very convincing CGI sabre-toothed tiger get saved by the hero, and the tiger later not eating him because he remembered the hero's kindness. (!!!)
This is about as realistic a prehistoric film as an episode of The Flintstones, but even funnier. It makes the Raquel Welch camp classic ONE MILLION YEARS BC look like a documentary, but at least that had Raquel in a fur bikini. The animated movie ICE AGE treated the subject matter with more realism and depth.
In other words, you can skip this one.
I'm giving it 4 points just for the audacity of it all.

4/10

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Zorro: The Gay Blade-1981
This one here should've been right up my alley, as it's the kind of goofy, cheesy-sounding film that usually appeals to me and makes me laugh, and while this one does do that at times, it's also one that wasn't as good as it should've been. While the original premise for this one makes it seem like it's going to constantly offer up these hilarious jokes and gags, the fact that it's usually able to set-up what's going to happen a mile away and ruin the gag takes a lot of the fun out of the film, even if where they're going with the gag is funny. The sword-fights here were easily the best part, being fall-down funny though I can understand where some wouldn't really get into it. Still, this one could've used a lot of work.
5/10

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THE MASK OF ZORRO (1998)

The elderly Zorro (Anthony Hopkins), imprisoned for the last twenty years by his mortal enemy, escapes from prison and trains a young protegé (Antonio Banderas) to take up the mask and sword in this great action-adventure revenge flick.

A couple of love-to-hate villains, two male leads (Hopkins and Banderas) who are both excellent in their roles, the beautiful Catherine Zeta-Jones as the love interest, and some show-stopping sword fights and action scenes make this one a great entertainment. Lots of fun and never takes itself too seriously, but doesn't devolve into total camp either.
One of the best swashbuckling movies ever.

8.5/10

ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE (1981)

A couple of years after George Hamilton struck box office gold with his spoof of Dracula in LOVE AT FIRST BITE, he was cast as yet another popular character primed for a big screen parody, the result is, well, not nearly as good.
In fact, ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE is pretty bad.

Hamilton plays twin brothers, one straight, Don Diego Vega, and one gay, Bunny Wigglesworth. Yes, the gay brother's name is Bunny Wigglesworth.
Anyway, when Don Diego gets injured while performing feats of derring-do as Zorro, Bunny must don the mask and cape and fill-in for him.

This would actually be kind of a funny premise if there was a better story, funnier jokes, stronger supporting characters and a villain who didn't scream ALL of his dialogue.
As it is, it's two pretty good performances by Hamilton, surrounded by nothing I gave a damn about.

3/10

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Highlander-1986
I had seen Part 3 for my genre viewing last month and came out confused yet entertained because of the action. Now, I'll probably have to go back to this one again, since even still I don't know what was going on. Lots of rules and story-telling, whch kinda went over my head as I had forced myself awake at the right time to watch it and I wasn't in a completely aware state yet, so again the dialog didn't make sense, but once again the action saved it with a series of fantastic and utterly brilliant sword fights in here. They should've gave Connery's sword-fighting-double a special credit here as he looked really good, and Lambert looked just as good but considering the age difference, I think Connery came out looking better. The 80s cheese is still apparent, but I've seen a lot worse.
7.5/10, though I'd probably bump this up by at least a full point when I figure out the story here.

[Heineken Skywalker]

MONGOL (2007)

Epic telling of the story of the young Genghis Khan and how events in his life shaped him into the legendary conqueror he would become.
We see him at the age of nine, go on a trip with his father to choose his future bride, later on the same trip, his father is poisoned, which leaves Temudjin, his real name, next in line to become Khan (ruler) of his tribe. Unfortunately, there are others in the tribe who feel they should be Kahn, not this kid, so Temudjin has to go through many years of hardship, including slavery and several escapes.
The film covers about twenty years in his life, but unfortunately there are some gaps in time that are glossed over, how he amassed that huge army seen near the end of the film, for instance, mainly because there are no written records of this time in Gengis' life.
The landscapes are beautifully shot and the battle scenes are really well done, exciting, violent & bloody. The lead actors, all unknowns in this country, are all very good.
This is the first of what was originally supposed to be a trilogy, but it looks like parts 2 and 3 are going to be condensed into one sequel, THE GREAT KHAN.
Looking forward to it.

7.5/10

[slayrrr666]

Ella Enchanted-2006
Not one that's going to be considered for this, but the fact that there's a multitude of sword-fights in here not only makes it count but also makes it interesting for the most part. The movie, outside of those scenes, mostly consists of a series of lame gags and jokes about her condition of always being obediant, no matter the situation, and while every now and then there's something mildly amusing or chuckle-worthy occurring, most of the gags and jokes can be spotted coming from the set-up and the premise, which reduces their effectiveness somewhat. That leaves the several sword fights in here to make the most of the entertainment, and for the most part they work well, balanced in a decent-but-unmemorable affair.
6/10

Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj-2007
I have to admit a guilty pleasure liking of the original: it's nothing original but I at least don't want to ground my eyes out when I watch it. This one isn't that good, and a couple times becomes either really pitiful or aggravating, but it at least keeps me from wanting to kill myself. Follows the same route for jokes that the first one took, leaving most of them easily-spotted and feeling like a retread of what happened earlier, but it does manage to force out a laugh a couple times. It's admitted here due to the fact that fencing is a major minor-subplot in the proceedings, with it being considered the highest honor in the school and there's the fight for redemption through a fencing match as well as training for it throughout. But otherwise, not up to snuff with the original.
5.5/10

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BRAVEHEART (1995)

Mel Gibson directed this epic and stars as William Wallace, a real-life Scottish rebel who lead a revolt to free Scotland from the tyranny of England's King Edward the Longshanks.
Some of the best and most violent cold arms battle scenes ever put on film are intertwined with great drama and smatterings of humor. Gibson does a great job in the lead role and is surrounded by a topnotch supporting cast including Patrick McGoohan as the villainous King Edward, awesome character actor Brendan Gleeson as Wallace's childhood friend Hamish Campbell, and the lovely Sophie Marceau as Princess Isabelle.

Partly historical, partly Hollywood myth, but all entertaining.

9/10

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COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO (2002)

James Caviezel and Guy Pearce star in this version of Alexandre Dumas' classic novel. Dantes (Caviezel) is falsely accused of treason by his best friend Fernand (Pearce), who wants Dantes' girlfriend for himself. As punishment, he is sent to an island prison. When he finally escapes 13 years later, he transforms himself into the wealthy Count of Monte Cristo and proceeds to exact revenge on those who wronged him.
Good performances by Caviezel, Pearce, and Richard Harris in one of his last films. Great revenge tale, it's always fun to see villains get their comeuppance and the good guy come out on top.

7/10

GLADIATOR (2000)

A popular general (Russell Crowe) in the Roman army is betrayed by the jealous son of the Emperor and he and his family are condemned to death. He manages to escape, but is not able to save his wife and son from their fates. Captured, he is trained as a gladiator where he rises as a popular attraction and plans his revenge against those who murdered his family and ruined his life.
Crowe gives a powerful performance and Joaquin Phoenix is suitably slimy as the emperor's son. Great support from acting legends Richard Harris, again, and Oliver Reed in his last role. Fantastic battle scenes and the gladiator games are action-packed and very realistic.

9/10

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Conan the Barbarian-1982
I had seen this one last year for the Comic Book/Graphic Novel entry and thought it was a truly enjoyable film, but that was uncut and uncensored. Now, a repeat viewing cut up with commercials and censored, this one here was just definitively ruined, gutting just about everything I love in films being taken out and not having enough otherwise to really make it that entertaining. There's still a lot to like about the second half during the assault on the compound, which is pretty much just a non-stop series of attacks and confrontations which are just a blast to watch and definitely make it what it is. The problem is that the rest of the good stuff was taken out, rendering this one quite problematic in this form.
9/10 uncensored, but in this form 4.5/10

Conan the Destroyer-1984
Again, not all that great in this censored state, but there just wasn't all that much otherwise which would've been a lot of fun regardless. There wasn't a whole lot of confrontations or action scenes which would've been fun to watch, the violence is incredibly toned down during the few interactions regardless, and overall there just wasn't all that much to it. It could be the fact that I saw it a few days ago and haven't been on to comment on it, or it could be the film itself, but I don't remember much else about it.
3/10

Clash of the Titans-1981
Due to this one being announced for a remake, I decided to revisit it, plus it counts in here, and while I did enjoy this one, I can see where the remake is warranted. While there's a lot of great Harryhausen effects on display (the hunting of the Medusa in her cave at the beginning is great, the giant sea monster battle at the end and several other monsters aren't too bad) there's some uncharacteristically bad effects here. Pegasus isn't that bad when he's standing on the ground, but flying he looks stilted and unnatural, and that mechanical owl is a travesty to Harry's good name. Plus, it's awfully talky in the first portion and suffers from some 80s cheese at points, but it's still not all that terrible and is certainly watchable and able for a remake.
6.5/10

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Robin Hood: Men in Tights:1993
Right behind Dracula: Dead and Loving It in my rankings for unsung Mel Brooks comedies, and definitely one of my favorites as well, there's a lot I really like about this one. From the utterly hilarious one-liners and jokes that run rampant through here to the slapstick that is off-the-charts funny and the just plain funny moments that pop up from time-to-time, this one to me is incredibly funny and really enjoyable. It doesn't really change the way comedy is viewed, which is why I think some tend to look down upon it, but it makes me laugh which is a sign of a quality comedy.
9/10