Post by The Butcher on Feb 21, 2006 23:06:27 GMT -5
WARNING - Review may contain spoilors.
Some children spend their time converting their transformers from robot form to vehicular form then back again. Some children play with Barbie dolls and possibly wonder why their reproductive organs have gone missing. Some children ride their bikes while others throw rocks at the local retard. My head still hurts. Kids do all kinds of wild and crazy things. Then there are the kids from Gatlin, Nebraska. These kids don`t appreciate He-Man dolls or a juicy game of Candy Land - they’re the kind of kids who you don`t talk about at parties - the kind of kids that Santa doesn’t visit on Christmas Eve. They are the children... The Children of the Corn. Surprisingly enough, they are not related to the Children of the Mashed Potatoes and Gravy who live just a few towns over.
Without a doubt, The Children of the Corn is one of my all-time favorite tales - the things campfire stories are made of. Here`s the pitch - a group of children suddenly and unexpectedly kill everyone in the entire town over the age of seventeen. Why would they do such a thing? Because the strange voice from the cornfields, “He Who Walks Behind the Rows”, A.K.A. The God of Hell told them to. What works great in the film is how our two protagonists, Burton (Peter Horton) and Vicky (Linda Hamilton), after finding their way into Gatlin, discover the current situation and immediately assume that they have been smoking a little too much… corn. It’s not until the finale when Burton truly understands the enormity of the situation. Little late pal. You figured this realization would have come about the same time the rows of corn parted like the Red Sea, inviting Burton to enter. Not strange at all – must be that new-fangled auto-corn. I guess some people take a little more convincing then others. Anyway, the story behind The Children of the Corn is just awesome and is a very creepy concept.
What’s almost as entertaining as The God of Hell residing in the corn is our two antagonists. First, you have Isaac, who is four feet tall and weighs ninety pounds soaking wet. But what’s odd is the kid’s face. It’s obvious that he is around the age of fifteen but his face has the features of a forty year old and if that weren’t enough, he talks in riddles like Yoda. Then you have his right hand man, Malachai (Courtney Gains) who is bigger and generally more eager to spill blood. On a side note – his freckles are deadlier than the cornfield, the children and “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” all put together and his mouth is all fucked up… like he’s been eating barbed wire. Malachai is not a guy you would want to go bowl with, that’s for damn sure. Picture Sonny from The Godfather but with a sickle and overalls. He’s the hot head out of the corn children. This was Courtney Gains’ first film role and he does a respectable job. My favorite line of his is when he raises his knife and growls to his crew, “Seize her”, referring to the defenseless Linda Hamilton. I’ve always found “Seize her” to be more effective than “grab that dirty bitch!”
Unfortunately, I had a few problems with the children and their corn, the first being, the lack of meat in the script. Now isn’t that ironic seeing how the film is based around a vegetable? We know that the film is adapted from a short story and that’s exactly what it feels like - a short story stretched out to ninety minutes. And, when lines are spoken, it’s usually only a few sentences at a time. The majority of the film involves the two adults, Burton and Vicky, investigating the town or being chased by the blood spilling youths. The other problem I had was with the finale. I was really pleased to know that without a doubt, evil lived in the corn and worked over the children. Although that was great, I didn’t enjoy the evil taking shape. Towards the end of the film, the tone completely changes. “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” actually takes shape, becoming a “Tremors” like creature cruising around the cornfield, just below the dirt. Then, during the final few minutes, a storm rolls into town which looks completely unrealistic and over the top and out comes Orville Redenbacher, bloated up like a Macy’s Day balloon. I feel that a more low key finale would have not only been more appropriate but more effective.
Overall, The Children of the Corn still remains an 80’s classic for me. What can I say?? It was one of the first horror films I can remember watching. The music, characters and story are all memorable. I am still petitioning for an Isaac and Malachai sitcom but I am beginning to lose faith. Yes, of course I recommend Children of the Corn. It can be a little corny but it still rocks.
Some children spend their time converting their transformers from robot form to vehicular form then back again. Some children play with Barbie dolls and possibly wonder why their reproductive organs have gone missing. Some children ride their bikes while others throw rocks at the local retard. My head still hurts. Kids do all kinds of wild and crazy things. Then there are the kids from Gatlin, Nebraska. These kids don`t appreciate He-Man dolls or a juicy game of Candy Land - they’re the kind of kids who you don`t talk about at parties - the kind of kids that Santa doesn’t visit on Christmas Eve. They are the children... The Children of the Corn. Surprisingly enough, they are not related to the Children of the Mashed Potatoes and Gravy who live just a few towns over.
Without a doubt, The Children of the Corn is one of my all-time favorite tales - the things campfire stories are made of. Here`s the pitch - a group of children suddenly and unexpectedly kill everyone in the entire town over the age of seventeen. Why would they do such a thing? Because the strange voice from the cornfields, “He Who Walks Behind the Rows”, A.K.A. The God of Hell told them to. What works great in the film is how our two protagonists, Burton (Peter Horton) and Vicky (Linda Hamilton), after finding their way into Gatlin, discover the current situation and immediately assume that they have been smoking a little too much… corn. It’s not until the finale when Burton truly understands the enormity of the situation. Little late pal. You figured this realization would have come about the same time the rows of corn parted like the Red Sea, inviting Burton to enter. Not strange at all – must be that new-fangled auto-corn. I guess some people take a little more convincing then others. Anyway, the story behind The Children of the Corn is just awesome and is a very creepy concept.
What’s almost as entertaining as The God of Hell residing in the corn is our two antagonists. First, you have Isaac, who is four feet tall and weighs ninety pounds soaking wet. But what’s odd is the kid’s face. It’s obvious that he is around the age of fifteen but his face has the features of a forty year old and if that weren’t enough, he talks in riddles like Yoda. Then you have his right hand man, Malachai (Courtney Gains) who is bigger and generally more eager to spill blood. On a side note – his freckles are deadlier than the cornfield, the children and “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” all put together and his mouth is all fucked up… like he’s been eating barbed wire. Malachai is not a guy you would want to go bowl with, that’s for damn sure. Picture Sonny from The Godfather but with a sickle and overalls. He’s the hot head out of the corn children. This was Courtney Gains’ first film role and he does a respectable job. My favorite line of his is when he raises his knife and growls to his crew, “Seize her”, referring to the defenseless Linda Hamilton. I’ve always found “Seize her” to be more effective than “grab that dirty bitch!”
Unfortunately, I had a few problems with the children and their corn, the first being, the lack of meat in the script. Now isn’t that ironic seeing how the film is based around a vegetable? We know that the film is adapted from a short story and that’s exactly what it feels like - a short story stretched out to ninety minutes. And, when lines are spoken, it’s usually only a few sentences at a time. The majority of the film involves the two adults, Burton and Vicky, investigating the town or being chased by the blood spilling youths. The other problem I had was with the finale. I was really pleased to know that without a doubt, evil lived in the corn and worked over the children. Although that was great, I didn’t enjoy the evil taking shape. Towards the end of the film, the tone completely changes. “He Who Walks Behind the Rows” actually takes shape, becoming a “Tremors” like creature cruising around the cornfield, just below the dirt. Then, during the final few minutes, a storm rolls into town which looks completely unrealistic and over the top and out comes Orville Redenbacher, bloated up like a Macy’s Day balloon. I feel that a more low key finale would have not only been more appropriate but more effective.
Overall, The Children of the Corn still remains an 80’s classic for me. What can I say?? It was one of the first horror films I can remember watching. The music, characters and story are all memorable. I am still petitioning for an Isaac and Malachai sitcom but I am beginning to lose faith. Yes, of course I recommend Children of the Corn. It can be a little corny but it still rocks.
