Post by Quorthon on May 26, 2005 15:06:27 GMT -5
Hell Night
Horror
1981
COLOR
Heron Communications/Media Home Entertainment
MPAA Rating: R
Directed by: Tom DeSimone
USA
Here’s yet another example of 80’s horror with no real soul or originality. But you know what it does have? Linda Blair. That’s right, her career careened straight into doing shit like this. Oh don’t feel bad for me, I got this on video for free. I grabbed it because of it’s title, because I think it’s funny as shit. Let’s get on with this…
And, oh my god! Here we go: During a big ol’ college bash, some young pledges for the local sorority and fraternity are forced to spend a night in a big ol’ scary mansion that just happens to be just down the road from the college houses, and just happens to be “abandoned.” The house was once occupied by a super-crazy mutant family of retards who killed each other and themselves all except for one little freak who managed to survive and got to watch all the others die. Or something like that. Anyway, they start getting all killed, of course, by the mutant shithead still in the house… Or is there more than one killer mutant dude? SPOILER: Yeah, there is it would seem.
Here’s the breakdown:
The Good:
--Believe it or not, the atmosphere isn’t bad.
--Shockingly enough, there are some decent scares. Not a lot, though—and none related to the killer!
Didn’t Hurt It, Didn’t Help:
--The music ranges from “typical 80’s horror fare” (which works well enough) to “total crap” (which sucks).
--The big abandoned house makes for a pretty cool set, but then again, how many other films of this nature take place in some big abandoned house? So it’s not real original.
The Bad:
--The acting is pretty damn craptacular. Sometimes it appears to be okay, but usually it’s just shit.
--Awful dialogue.
--College campus horror? Ooohh!! Original!! Oh wait! No it’s not!
--College campus horror with sororities, but no naked college chicks? If you’re making cheesy horror, go all out! Damn!
--Unoriginal kills, yet again. Twisted neck? Check. Lopped off head? Check. Killed off-screen? That happens twice. Stabbed with sickle? Okay, I rather liked that one. But the “Children of the Corn” use sickles better.
--We see a ghost once, for no real apparent reason! We don’t even find out who the hell it is!
The Ugly:
--The movie’s greatest strength seems to come from the idea that Linda Blair is cast in it, as if that guarantees a super high quality movie. Linda Blair isn’t why “Exorcist” was good, it was the story, direction, scares, originality, and acting. Linda Blair does not equate quality horror, people. Remember that.
--Poor, uncreative make-up. One of the mutant crazy killer-guys actually looks like the goddamn Wolf Man! I’m not kidding, the Lon Chaney Wolf Man!! Luckily, you only see him for about 2/3 of a second.
Memorable Scene:
--Linda Blair somehow drives a car relatively competently while holding her hands over her eyes and flailing her feet all over the floor while a guy is on top smashing through the windshield. No kidding.
Ha ha, believe it or not, the description on the back of the box (and remember, I have it on video) is wrong! POSSIBLE SPOILER: Says three college kids, actually four plus three antagonists trying to scare them. Says one half-man, half-monster is killing the kids, seemed like two… So how good could this movie be if even the description is bad?
Acting: 4/10
Story: 4/10
Atmosphere: 7/10
Cinematography: 6/10
Character Development: 0/10
Special Effects/Make-up: 3/10
Nudity/Sexuality: 0/10
Violence/Gore: 5/10
Music: 5/10
Direction: 3/10
Cheesiness: 2/10
Crappiness: 7/10
Overall: 3/10
Another one for just horror buffs and completists, and even that might be a stretch. Maybe if you really, really really, beyond a shadow of a doubt, love nothing else but cheesy, thoughtless 80’s horror, then you might like it… But I think we’re all better off without.
Horror
1981
COLOR
Heron Communications/Media Home Entertainment
MPAA Rating: R
Directed by: Tom DeSimone
USA
Here’s yet another example of 80’s horror with no real soul or originality. But you know what it does have? Linda Blair. That’s right, her career careened straight into doing shit like this. Oh don’t feel bad for me, I got this on video for free. I grabbed it because of it’s title, because I think it’s funny as shit. Let’s get on with this…
And, oh my god! Here we go: During a big ol’ college bash, some young pledges for the local sorority and fraternity are forced to spend a night in a big ol’ scary mansion that just happens to be just down the road from the college houses, and just happens to be “abandoned.” The house was once occupied by a super-crazy mutant family of retards who killed each other and themselves all except for one little freak who managed to survive and got to watch all the others die. Or something like that. Anyway, they start getting all killed, of course, by the mutant shithead still in the house… Or is there more than one killer mutant dude? SPOILER: Yeah, there is it would seem.
Here’s the breakdown:
The Good:
--Believe it or not, the atmosphere isn’t bad.
--Shockingly enough, there are some decent scares. Not a lot, though—and none related to the killer!
Didn’t Hurt It, Didn’t Help:
--The music ranges from “typical 80’s horror fare” (which works well enough) to “total crap” (which sucks).
--The big abandoned house makes for a pretty cool set, but then again, how many other films of this nature take place in some big abandoned house? So it’s not real original.
The Bad:
--The acting is pretty damn craptacular. Sometimes it appears to be okay, but usually it’s just shit.
--Awful dialogue.
--College campus horror? Ooohh!! Original!! Oh wait! No it’s not!
--College campus horror with sororities, but no naked college chicks? If you’re making cheesy horror, go all out! Damn!
--Unoriginal kills, yet again. Twisted neck? Check. Lopped off head? Check. Killed off-screen? That happens twice. Stabbed with sickle? Okay, I rather liked that one. But the “Children of the Corn” use sickles better.
--We see a ghost once, for no real apparent reason! We don’t even find out who the hell it is!
The Ugly:
--The movie’s greatest strength seems to come from the idea that Linda Blair is cast in it, as if that guarantees a super high quality movie. Linda Blair isn’t why “Exorcist” was good, it was the story, direction, scares, originality, and acting. Linda Blair does not equate quality horror, people. Remember that.
--Poor, uncreative make-up. One of the mutant crazy killer-guys actually looks like the goddamn Wolf Man! I’m not kidding, the Lon Chaney Wolf Man!! Luckily, you only see him for about 2/3 of a second.
Memorable Scene:
--Linda Blair somehow drives a car relatively competently while holding her hands over her eyes and flailing her feet all over the floor while a guy is on top smashing through the windshield. No kidding.
Ha ha, believe it or not, the description on the back of the box (and remember, I have it on video) is wrong! POSSIBLE SPOILER: Says three college kids, actually four plus three antagonists trying to scare them. Says one half-man, half-monster is killing the kids, seemed like two… So how good could this movie be if even the description is bad?
Acting: 4/10
Story: 4/10
Atmosphere: 7/10
Cinematography: 6/10
Character Development: 0/10
Special Effects/Make-up: 3/10
Nudity/Sexuality: 0/10
Violence/Gore: 5/10
Music: 5/10
Direction: 3/10
Cheesiness: 2/10
Crappiness: 7/10
Overall: 3/10
Another one for just horror buffs and completists, and even that might be a stretch. Maybe if you really, really really, beyond a shadow of a doubt, love nothing else but cheesy, thoughtless 80’s horror, then you might like it… But I think we’re all better off without.
