Just Watched Movies (2015)

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Enemies Closer-Loosing their shipment near a national park, a group of drug-runners enlist a ranger to help them search for their prize only to find his military skills and a commando seeking revenge against him to complicate their plans. Probably one of the more enjoyable Van Damme DTV efforts, maybe not his best but then again that's a small part of his filmography I'm not as familiar with so there's a few holes that might be able to top this one. Nonetheless, this one was quite fun with the early set-up here bringing along quite a bit of fun with the different work of the drug runners to stay one step ahead of everyone making for some decent action scenes to effectively make them seem intimidating, the early scenes of the two trying to settle their score provide some much better brawling as they get in some really nice fighting and definitely brings the film's best parts along in the really enjoyable second half. Presented as one long series of chases, fights and shootouts throughout the island, there's a lot of fun here with a couple nicely designed fights, a great shootout in a cottage that works rather well and is mixed up really nicely with some fine humor here as Van Damme's quirky boss-man is a fine villain with just enough good lines to come off with a light side, and overall this is a pretty light if still enjoyable effort. There's a few minor flaws here, mainly in that the revenge subplot here doesn't really seem all that warranted and like excess padding in the film by not only continually referring to a situation throughout the movie that isn't resolved in the first place but also adds his character into the film when it would've been a lot more thrilling had it just been the singular good guy against the group. As well, that also leads up to the questionable casting in here as these guys are obviously no match for Van Damme in any situation that involves hand-to-hand fighting and he routinely bests them at every opportunity and it takes outside distractions to allow them to continue fighting which takes a little away from the victory. Still, there's much worse out there.

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Pound of Flesh-Arriving in the Philippines for a kidney transplant, a commando finds it's stolen by black-market organ thieves and begins a blood-soaked to retrieve it back in order to give it to his dying niece. A much more impressive and enjoyable Van Damme DTV effort than the last one yesterday, and is one of his better efforts in that particular part of his career. The initial irony of the resulting need for his quest is quite nicely handled here, there's some nice set-up to the mystery of the strange gunmen they continue seeing around the city and it all comes together nicely here to setup the film's fine action scenes throughout this. The brawl in the nightclub taking out the corrupt security guards protecting the initial levels of the organization, the fine car chase through the cramped and crowded streets of the city that comes off rather nicely and the multitude of fighting in the underground fight club with the hostage stand-off shootout, the brawl with the lackeys that spills into the fighting arena (rather clumsily, though, since they emerge from the opposite side of the room and have to maneuver about twenty feet over just to break through the back-ranks of the assembled crowd just locked in that position the entire time instead of bringing the entrance closer or just have them fight their way through, but regardless it still looks a little funny to get that one set-up) which thankfully comes back here with the escape-gunfight chasing after their henchmen again. The final assault on the house is a great piece of action shootout with a few nice, small brawls mixed in, and altogether there's a lot to like here with this one. Outside of that one clumsy set-up earlier, the ending does seem a little stretched out and overlong, while the fact of it making the alliances a little uneasy leads nowhere since they're helping the entire time so the ploy of thinking it's a double-cross is a little confusing, but overall it's quite fun.

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Tai Chi Zero-Attempting to learn a secretive martial art style, an outsider to a village that teaches the deadly form is trusted with their style when he proves to be the only hope they have against stopping a government team building a railroad through their village. This was quite fun and highly enjoyable, mostly when it stayed on the straight-forward path here since for the most part this one was way too comic and joke-filled that never really warranted the use for that kind of zany and utterly irritating ploy here of introducing the actor playing the characters whenever they walked up on screen followed by a brief note about them in real life. It's distracting and really takes away from what the entire purpose of here which is to be a stylish and utterly enjoyable chop-socky martial arts/steampunk mash-up that's utterly amazing to watch with the wire-fu being some of the most enjoyable and acrobatic works of art in the scene recently with plenty of intentionally dynamic works to showcase the influence of Tai Chi on the story while demonstrating some rather exceptional mechanical works in the final half to build on the redemption needed to bring the film full-circle. There's a lot more traditional action here with the destruction of the village and the later battles inside the mechanical robot, but the full-village assault is a great action highlight that really redeems this wholeheartedly, and when mixed with the great fighting around it gives this a lot to like.

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S.O.B.: Summer of Blood-Never satisfied with his existence, a chubby, pessimistic loser soon finds everything turned upside down when he becomes a vampire only to realize not everything has changed for the better and tries to find a way of coping with the situation. For the most part this here was a big waste of time. This here mostly stems from the fact that we spend so much time with the main lead here that it soon becomes tiresome listening to such inane, pathetic drivel that is forced into this one. Being a self-centered, immature hipster who can’t go more than five seconds without railing vitriol on anything and everything around him, from why he doesn’t want to marry his girlfriend then trying to keep her when she shows interest in another person who genuinely likes her, being completely indifferent to his job or to the apartment where he lives or even to the dates he goes on with other women, it all basically ends in idiosyncratic rants designed to be some sort of genius look at the world but are instead pessimistic, ill-formed and completely debatable points that turn him into the most unlikable person in the world. Just by being quirky he thinks this is the coolest point ever, causing him to utilize this facet for the remainder of his screen-time that it just grows more and more pretentious as time goes on and there’s nothing here that’s all too enjoyable to sit through with such a self-absorbed and delusional figure that’s meant to be a likeable lead here. As an added chip against this, the endless complaining and posturing does nothing for the film’s pace here which is so bland and languid that there’s literally nothing on-screen for two-thirds of the movie, even after he’s changed as he goes around in more of his delusion ranting about his change that despite hooking back up with the spurned dates he previously went on and managed to get them to sleep with him in that condition when he hasn't changed from what made them rightfully reject him to begin with is so inconceivable that it takes the viewer right out of the film and reminds us all of it being a vanity project where such a completely misguided, utterly worthless condescending jerk would be able to pull off what happens here which is played off as newfound confidence but isn't in the slightest bit true of anything other than pretentious nonsense. It's just so hard to get anything out of this that despite a few decent bloodletting scenes along the way as he tries to adapt to the change here, from the alleyway attack on the college student and the main sequence of him biting each of the dates one-by-one while sleeping with them gives this one some messy blood-letting from time-to-time here, but it's all mostly undone by the film's meager budget which restricts the vampire notion to simply his contact lenses as there's barely any fangs on display or other such powers featured here. On the whole this one was beyond worthless.

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Annabelle-After their home is invaded by deadly cultists, an expectant couple finds that a strange doll involved in the events has taken on a far more sinister life than they imagined and try to stop the deadly events from continuing. While there's a lot to like here, overall this one was decidedly disappointing. What really does tend to work here is the early scenes at the house where the growing build-up of the events here makes for quite a rather dark storyline here. The concept of targeting a pregnant mother in her home and enacting a blood-rite on her still-unborn baby that bonds her soul with a ravenous demon is unbelievably chilling and creepy, which makes it so much of a disappointment that it never really capitalizes on this idea by instead resorting to the second half with a series of ghostly flash images and quick-cut attacks that are so set-up and predictable that nearly every gag here, from the quick glimpse of the hands on the stairwell and the arm-grab in the darkened laundry room lowers this one slightly. However, the first half doesn't worry about this with the rather enjoyable set-up here as it goes through the early scenes of her pregnancy and the effect that has on the build-up by offering the chilling home invasion with the really enjoyable set-up here that makes for quite a fun scene ending in the brutal bloodbath that finally ends this. The eventual supernatural hauntings that occur aren't that bad following the incident while the scenes in the apartment after the move are even better here with the hallway ambush, the flash images of the ghost always walking around the apartment in the shadows and the big set-up here with the drawings done by the child eventually coming to fruition makes for a truly fun time here that makes for a great ploy to unleash the chilling action in the later half when the attempts to stop the progression of possession makes for some dark, chilling action within this, with the church attack and the eventual battle in the apartment to save their baby really ratchets up the tension and suspense here along with the fun action throughout the final half. That, though, again brings up the main fundamental flaw here with the film as not only does this make the film filled with routine and predictable scenes but the film does such a great job at showcasing something is wrong that their reasoning for not doing something earlier is seriously questioned. Staying in the house as long as they did after the initial attack is questionable considering what happened and all that follows, while the popcorn gag itself is so questionable that alone is quite unrealistic. Still, once in the apartment this one features so many fine attack scenes on both her and the baby that waiting so long to question what's going on that it's entirely unbelievable that takes as much time as it does to bring someone else in on the action. It's pretty big, and does hold this down somewhat though there's still a lot to like here.

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Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs-Following a mine accident, the residents of a small town find a group of dinosaurs unleashed and running amok, forcing them to turn to a disgraced former rodeo star to combat the dinosaurs and save the town. This one wasn't all that bad of a cheesy creature feature. One of the better features here is the absolutely fun and enjoyable amount of action throughout this, which makes for quite a fun pace here. This starts off really nicely with the opening mine explosion with the dinosaurs coming through the smoke and debris in rather creepy scenes hunting the miners through the workers through the mine, and the scene at the swimming hole attacking the girls out in the middle of the desert is highly enjoyable as well. The attack on the farmhouse is fine with the really brutal kills coming into play, while the big set-up here comes through into two rather impressive and wholly enjoyable cheesy action scenes here with their initial attack on the town. Filled with highly enjoyable brief attacks on the different establishments throughout here, from the Laundromat and the diner to the police station and finally the barricaded bar where the fun of their barricades holding along with the gunfire to keep them out all come off as really enjoyable, continuous action scenes which is all nicely interspersed with the raptors and the rex out on the city streets leading to some fun swarming scenes as they come after the townspeople while the rex regenerates plenty of cheesy fun stalking through the streets as well as showcasing the really energetic chase sequences as they try to get away from it in their jeep as they engage in plenty of firefights to combat it. Containing a ton of cheesy action, plenty of kills and an extended section of the film allows for quite an overall fun time. The other big scene here is the finale which is really exciting here with the barricade in the warehouse as the boards and gunfire hold them off and make rather good use of the different floors for some suspenseful times leaping up to take them and getting some really nice gore along with the action which carries into the big chase away into the quarry which has a ton of gunfire and explosive action along the way, resulting in a lot of fun. Along with some enjoyable non-dino scenes that keep this going, this is good enough to hold out over the flaws. The main issue here is the rather inane plot line about the corrupt, shady businessman trying to buy over the conspiracy at any cost here, which is so unrealistically portrayed here he comes off as completely unbelievable in how he continually ignores every bit of common sense, even in the form of a creatures' carcass right in front of everyone around them yet he pushes on to his other commitments rather than follow common logic. The only other problem area here was the CGI, which manages to come through on pretty much the same issues they usually present in obviously-pixelated skin, constant special awareness flaws and the inability to react to anything in the environment which makes them all the more obviously fake. Otherwise, this one had a lot to really like here.

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Jessabelle-Following a car accident, a woman returning to her family home in Louisiana finds a deadly supernatural presence in the house guided by revenge on the family and tries to stop the events from continuing. This was quite the entertaining and somewhat chilling supernatural effort. One of the main elements at work here is the fact that this one really manages to work out a series of chilling and insanely creepy moments here which play along with the supernatural tones in the story quite well. The initial reaction here to finding the tapes left behind in secret and the way he flips out after finding her with them makes for a nice start here, and with the rather chilling house at play where this just simply screams to be filled with the residual effects of a haunting makes for a great time here with the beginnings of the supernatural torments against her. These here are quite fun, with the pounding footsteps running throughout the house and seeming to sound like they're about ready to run into her only to have the revelation of being left along the entire time but being understandably uncomfortable with the situation, while the supernatural attack on the father to ensure the legacy is still around by preventing him from burning the evidence left behind makes for a truly chilling and cruel sequence that comes off nicely. Likewise, other supernatural incidents from the bathtub encounter where she gets pulled underwater by a strange ghostly being, their trek out into the bayou to investigate the strange lights in the night where they find the infants' coffin and the remnants of the voodoo ceremony are quite enjoyable while setting the stage for the final half where it starts getting much more involved with the ghost coming out to haunt them in more graphic, gruesome manners including the strong attack in the car out on the front-yard and the later scene in the bedroom where the ghostly intentions are made clear from the ghosts coming along to dole out their intentions from the very start. Since their mystery investigations into the history of the tapes and her connection to the area manage to make these actions clear, their chilling revelation is played out nicely and given a truly dark outcome that's deeply satisfying. As well, the creepy revelations that come from this one are really enjoyable which make for quite a fun time here with the whole mystery over whether she's a twin or not and how her mother's deteriorating health made it possible to solve what's going on here as this one is far better than expected with the haunting storyline which is where this gets a lot right. Along with the creepy-looking ghost on display, these here hold this up quite nicely over the few minor flaws. The biggest problem here is the fact that there's so much grand supernatural action here that's even spread out over several days that there's no real logical reason why they stay in the house for as long as they do here. this is spread out over a while too so there's no good excuse for staying there after the type of action portrayed here does take a more obvious route to its haunting than what should be considered skeptical about its origins. As well, there's a bit of a slow build here to get to the scares with the first half being the recuperations and her trying to reconnect with her dad which tends to make the first half a little slow getting going, but it's not that detrimental and doesn't hold off the positives all that much.

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Ouija-Following their friends' accidental death, a group of teens learn that her use of a Ouija board to contact the dead still living in her house has unleashed their supernatural wrath upon them and must find a way of stopping it before it consumes them. While this one offered up some enjoyable moments there's still some pretty big flaws here. One of the main things that really holds this one down is the rather confusing amount of time taken here to get the storyline set-up in this. It's quite early on that we get the trigger for the events to start in the apparent suicide yet there's a lot of time afterward not only for the discovery of the body but also to start with the collective attacks against the group which is handled in a rather confusing manner. There's several occurrences of them playing with the board and yet nothing is really done for those times which really tends to ignore the fact that each of these previous encounters had resulting in something going on and then doing nothing with them as the supernatural activities observed from the first such encounter should've been the clue that rang out something was going on. This drags itself through several of these throughout here which manages to force the pace into such a crawl that it's hard to stay invested here and then causes the film to bring out a ludicrous twist in the final half just to bring the film up to a respectable running time since the rest of the pacing is so slow and dragging it has to rush through the biggest part here even after already dealing with it already and throwing another curveball simply to beef it up even more. Likewise, the film's timid-ness and rather lame death scenes here, though brutal in content, are so lacking in execution that the film's obviously toned-down rating becomes quite apparent here with this one really becoming ham-strung by keeping itself from really letting loose with its intentions. This one really could've used a little more gruesomeness in its kills, yet nothing of the sort happens here simply to keep the rating down, which is a pretty big factor here. Still, while these flaws are readily apparent throughout here the film does offer up some really chilling moments here, which consists almost mainly of it's supernatural hauntings from the times of its' interaction on the titular board. The early instances of the receptor moving by itself and flying around the room which makes for some chilling scenes, while the main action scenes of the group's encounters while playing with the object come off so well that there's a strong atmosphere throughout these scenes from seeing the ghosts interacting in the world around them only through the glass which is some really thrilling moments. Elsewhere, the finale here back in the house is a lot of fun with the attacks on the friends to trap them away in different sections of the house, the fateful game being played in the basement in front of the fireplace and the big ghost action throughout that sets up the grand resolution quite nicely. These are all fun and enjoyable with some thrilling action along the way to help it out, and does come up with some positives to counteract the flaws even though there's still some problematic areas.

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Croczilla-After escaping from a diner intending to eat it, a monstrous crocodile begins rampaging through China looking for a place to rest and forcing the authorities and an officer's son to stop the creature before it overruns the area. This here was quite the fun and enjoyable creature feature. One of the better elements featured here is the fact that the main croc gets loose so early in the film which gives this some really enjoyable times. The early scenes for that are pretty fun, from the capture in it's pen as they lure it out and take it away, as well as the actual escape from the group when they're preparing to chop it up which makes for some really fun times overall here with the actual action of the escape. The early confrontations here where it attacks the girl in the rice paddies, a later attack on the boys swimming in the stream and a rather fun encounter along the side of the road offer up some enjoyable elements, while offering the perfect base for which the film's big action scenes which really give this one a lot to really enjoy here. There's several rather big scenes here, from the first one being the house ambush as it chases them around onto the second floor where they manage to get away in a really unique manner, the battle with the gangsters in the forest where they get to chase it through the streams nearby out into the river and the later attack down by the river where they try to lure it out by putting themselves in the direct line of fire against the creature in some really thrilling and suspenseful scenes while the action here makes for some really exciting times as the logical actions make for a rousing finale. As well, the fact that this part of the film also introduces the rather enjoyable concept about the creatures' inherent goodness and sensitivity that's normally not found in these kinds of movies which adds an extra layer to the creature that makes it more than a mindless killing machine so common in these kinds of efforts. Along with the absolutely enjoyable practical croc effects, this one has some enjoyable parts over it's minor flaws. The film's biggest issue is the rather overbearing and aggravating plotline about the materialistic girl whining on and on about the lost money inside the croc which makes for a pretty aggravating time here when almost every single scene she's in is based on these aggravating tactics. Another minor issue here is the fact that there's several unnecessary elements featured which are hard to watch and really have no purpose being here, namely the violence against the small crocs which looks like the actual animals are being killed to be eaten in the restaurant which isn't that appealing to see the wounds being dished out. Likewise, the nudity of the pre-pubescent boys doesn't do anything for this one as the age of the performers should've rendered the tactic utterly unnecessary to begin with. Along with the suspect CGI for the croc, there here are the film's issues.

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New Year's Evil-While hosting a New Year's Eve show on TV, a hostess tries to stave off a psycho caller's increasingly twisted calls informing her friends are being murdered at midnight in all four time zones until she's the final victim of his slaughter. Overall this one doesn't have all that much going for it. One of the many problems here is the fact that this one comes off as a bland, boring thriller which just takes so much out of the film. The fact that the premise doesn't really hold up that much is the main element against this one which is the biggest problem against this. By using a series of utterly obnoxious story lines is where that tends to fall as the different story lines really don't make any sense. There's really nothing about the killers' motive that makes any sense as to why that would initiate a slashing rampage of this caliber as the psychotic reasoning is just inane, seems to make even less sense the longer it's presented and tends to hold off plenty of uneventful moments. The fact that the premise isn't really all that spectacular enough is the prime motivator here which requires a lot of excess scenes along the way to hold itself up, some of which is found by it being dragged out indefinitely with a series of endless and utterly innocuous songs that really aren't that great as well as the fact that there's just not a lot of suspense to be wrung out of the film makes this one feel all the more boring. There's hardly any real interesting stalking here as these not only show off the killer's identity from the very start which leaves no mystery about that part of the storyline, the set-ups for the most part aren't that thrilling and the method of being killed with a small knife doesn't inspire loads of fear or provide this with tons of gore. As these are the main scenes here for the majority of the movie, that only hampers this one by keeping its main storyline from being all that interesting and enjoyable. These here do damage the film enough that the few bright spots aren't all that impressive either, starting with the big series of action and stalking in the movie-theater parking lot with the bikers being quite fun for the extended action chasing on display. There's some tense moments woven in as well, while the procedural efforts to contain him result in some rather entertaining efforts. The other area for this one was the stalking and tormenting featured in the finale which managed to get some great times here with the utterly cruel and equally ingenious tactic of wrapping a steel chain around the neck and tying it off to a moving elevator along with the fine stalking of the police against the killer to be found here is about all that works here. Otherwise, there's not a whole lot to get worked up over.

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To All a Goodnight-Staying late over the holiday break, a group of girls at a boarding school find themselves stalked by a psychotic killer wearing a Santa outfit in retribution for an earlier prank and must find a way to escape the killer's wrath. Overall this one here was a pretty disappointing slasher. One of the main issues here is the fact that the film is just unbelievably slow and doesn't really offer up much of an enjoyable pace here, content merely to cruise along without really getting much of anything going. The early scenes of the girls getting ready for their party and ensuring that their festivities go uninterrupted is a long, never-ending series of bland, wholly unappealing moments here that just grind the film to a halt, not the least of which here is also caused by the film's seemingly curious decision to start the massacre fairly early on, then instead let the bodies be discovered the next day and wait until the following night to continue things. While the decision not to carry out the single-night rampage is rather unique, instead this causes the film to appear as though it has two character-building montages here as we get the initial arrival and pairing off in day one then we get them doing this again on day two as now that they're aware of the killer at the beginning of the day it wastes all the time until later that night to finally unleash the killer again and this set-up isn't that enjoyable. Still, beyond this the film's main detrimental strike comes from the majority of the actual horror factors involved not really being of much interest here, from bland and wholly un-suspenseful stalking scenes to bland kills that don't offer up much of any blood or gore and never really lets itself play with the supposedly-chilling idea of a killer loose in a dorm-room house the way this one could've as this one just goes about in a round- about way of getting to the carnage. There's almost nothing scary about the killer here beyond the damage done to the victims' bodies, and that tends to really wash over this one quite easily with a series of forgettable scenes with a hilariously-nonthreatening Santa-suited killer running around in a matter-of-factly manner that doesn't come close to giving this anything to get worked up over, and all combined really takes this down a notch. There's a few areas here that this does get right, namely from the fact that the film's body count offers up some potentially intriguing fun here with a lot of bland-conceptually but gruesomely-executed kills here, as the fact that there's two big rampages that knock them off in groups makes for a generally fun time in those parts with some decent chasing being done to satisfy the slasher fan in those moments. Those in and of themselves are much better than expected here just for the sheer cheesy fun they offer here as there's not much else about this one that works here only than the body count and how many stalking scenes there are, even though they're not always impressive.

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Started up our Christmas movie marathon with a few that I'm surprised took this long for us to get to:

Elf-Will Farrell is not that funny and his antics really ruin a lot of this one by undermining a lot of the heart and warmth found within. The rest of the family likes it a little more than I do but even still we're not all that impressed with it.

A Christmas Carol-The animation is a little off-putting and it seems like a gimmick having Carrey perform in the roles he does but this wasn't as bad as I'd expected, just a bit overlong. We're still debating about including it but I'd lean towards no as it doesn't really sink in the way the others have done with us.

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Another part of our attempted holidays marathon:

The Polar Express-Overall a much better movie than anything we did over the weekend as the animation is a little crisper, it moves along at a fairly nice pace and tells a really enjoyable story here, but there's just not anything here remotely related to the holiday and seems to be somewhat arbitrary in when it's set. It's not specifically about Christmas and the spirit of the day which is what we're all about during this, so this one will also be skipped over.