Just Watched Movies (2014)

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Asylum Blackout-When several workers are trapped inside following a blackout, the inmates use it as a chance to run wild throughout and force them to try to escape. It's supposed to be a horror film but there's just not a lot going on here to really make this one worthwhile as a true genre effort. The kills are all done off-screen (in fact, the heroes are shown killing more of the inmates on-screen in trying to escape than the other way around), the utterly brief running time makes it impossible to care because it does nothing during the time to do so and goes off on unnecessary tangents to fill running time it doesn't have, as the scenes at the recording studio and home with the girlfriend run way too long to really allow the seventy some-odd minute movie have time to really work over it's main plot-points. On top of that, the twist ending to this is so pathetic and paltry that it renders the whole thing an unwatchable mess that really doesn't deserve anything good it generated for the brutality within does have some fine shock moments. Even still, those aren't all that good when there's a lot more wrong here and just really undoes the whole movie.

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Bullet to the Head-After surviving a supposed-setup, a veteran hit man sets out on a course to find the employer responsible for the hit with a cop investigating the crime spree along with him. Surprisingly, for an action movie this one contains a scant few hardcore action scenes and instead resorts to a lengthy series of investigations surrounding the chain of leaders who initially wanted him dead but none of the events really spark any sort of 'Action-film-encounter,' whereas usually such a scene requires the hero to blow through an army of personnel to get to the one he wants, but here they slip in and out without arousing any sort of firepower-laden response. Even still, the few times we do get any sort of gunfight it's all based on the gunmen getting killed with single shots to the head or dispatched without any sort of lengthy firefight and the whole encounter is over in a matter of seconds. Essentially, the two tactics result in the movie dropping off a lot of its potential action prowess for other, nonessential actions and really make it quite frustrating with the crime drama feel this results during the movie. That really only leaves two sequences to really provide the goods of a typical Action film, the cabin-hideout ambush/shootout and the final showdown in the warehouse, and both are as advertised in terms of providing this with requisite shootouts, gunfire, explosions and brawling. Maybe a case of too little too late but it is something to go on, and it isn't exactly boring enough to turn off either so it has those going for it to make for a competent if flawed action/crime drama.

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The Bunnyman Massacre-When they get stranded in the woods, a group of girls captured by the infamous Bunnyman and his partner try to escape before they're killed and turned into the food at their roadside market. This ended up being better than the original effort in the series but that's not really saying much. The fact that the whole film tends to rely on the fact that the titular character itself is scary to drive all the shocks is perhaps the biggest problem with this as it really has almost no true scares in this one at all while trying to impart the fact that the killer itself deserves all the scares tends to really wear thin quite early. The scenes of it appearing behind unsuspecting victims before the death-blow is quite stupid and ends up being quite lame as well when its the only form of attack throughout while also not really making the killer all that scary and really just drives the whole scare factor of the film down even further. The way he's treated as the iconic hero at the end of the picture for no purpose other than making him appear to be so is the last, near-irredeemable flaw about the killer in this one because of the way he's handled and makes the attack at turning him into some kind of mythic hero of the day instead of letting it come about naturally is where this one fails the most spectacularly as the attempts at doing this undermine the efforts of the whole film simply to have this nonthreatening and unscary killer emerge as the victorious party simply for that sake and really undoes so much else the film does right in here. The kills are certainly bloody enough and deliver some pretty nasty scenes, as the camping party assault, the hiking group and the different thwarted escape attempts that met with the requisite chainsaw slashing that generates the most fun throughout with their messy attitude, unflinching portrayal to violence and general high-quality execution of the scene. As well, the fact that this one eschews the torture-film route despite holding people captive and instead relying on their escape attempts only to get killed in the process does make for a slightly better experience which does really work quite well here in making this become a more entertaining effort than the original but not by much.

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Stone Cold-Following a spate of violence, a tough cop is asked to infiltrate a notorious biker gang and take them down before they're leader organizes a special surprise for one of their jailed comrades. This is a surprisingly fun and utterly cheesy Action movie that becomes far better than expected as it carries along. It's not the most original effort in it's own sub-genre as the whole thing plays out in all the familiar roles and routes that's to be expected in such a situation where it follows the rules so well it's predictable and not all that surprising until it gets to the finale. That's really the only truly original part of the whole film where it goes off into the extremely convoluted and impossible-to-rationalize rescue attempt that has some truly ludicrous logic behind it but a ton of great action within as it's the centerpiece of the whole film and really shows just how out-of-their-element the gang is with easily they're dispatched in such fun encounters with plenty of firefights, chases and explosions to keep things moving along. The rest of the film isn't so bad with a lot to like as well, with some fine chases, a couple shoot-outs and a great deal of trash to keep things entertaining and enjoyable as time goes on through this series of trashy action and a few hints of sleaze, all of which make for a rather rousing and enjoyable offering.

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The Taking of Beverly Hills-When a bogus toxic spill in Beverly Hills forces the evacuation of the city, a football hero and a disgruntled cop team up to take down the billionaire utilizing everything to rob the city blind. This turned out to be quite the impactful and enjoyable Action effort with a lot to like about it. One of the bigger elements within this is the fact that the film certainly sets up such an improbable scenario to take place but handles it well-enough that there's a rather cheesy enjoyment to come from this since it sets up the action to come later on. This allows the whole second half to play out as a non-stop series of chases, shoot-outs and encounters to take place in literally the whole city, which includes tank battles through residential districts, car chases in the downtown area and wholesale shoot-outs throughout the rest of the film, and with the film's charming propensity for blowing everything up it can there's so much to like in many of these scenes that come from the explosive action that's set up by the way this whole thing unfolds. Though there's a rather quick finale that seems to be too quick for it's own good and over before it has any chance to showcase anything, the rest of the film is a lot more fun and manages to overcome this small glaring problem.

[Fenril]

- María de mi corazón. House robber Héctor finds his house invaded... by his old sweetheart, magician María. So the two resume their relationship, enjoying sexual trysts, show business and magic, both the stage kind and the spiritual kind. But when María finds herself trapped in one unlikely yet nightmarish situation, their love will be put to a test. And then, not all fairy tales ended well...

Somewhat forgotten blend of magical realism and romantic drama that's elevated by fine performances, a pervasive atmosphere of weird yet undeniable happenings and a clever script.

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Marathon held to celebrate the release of the new Godzilla movie:

Godzilla 2000
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus
Godzilla, Mothra, King Ghidora
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla
Godzilla: Tokyo SOS

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A Haunting in Silver Falls-Decidedly decent Lifetime effort about a young girl who gets pressured by a pair of twin ghosts to solve their murder they may or may not be connected with her distant relatives she just moved in with. Pretty familiar and generic most of the time as these "Righting Wrong" style of ghost movies go where they appear to someone in a plea to fix a mistake seen by many in the community who are grossly misled by the real perpetrators or part of it themselves, with the horror coming from the fact that there's plenty of ghostly encounters out of nowhere or strange shocks that come up, but then drop off in order to invest in the mystery surrounding everything and finally at the end bring everything to a conclusion. That's how this one plays out, and it certainly hits those familiar notes quite well and often which does make for this one being so run-of-the-mill and ordinary during the main section of the film, even if the finale is pretty fun.

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Big Ass Spider-After a military experiment results in a giant, monster-sized spider getting loose in downtown L.A., an exterminator and his assistant team up with the military to try to stop it before it destroys the city. This is an incredibly enjoyable and enthusiastic monster movie that gets a lot right throughout. One of the biggest marks for it is the fact that there's just such a fun and hilarious attitude throughout this one that manages to weave throughout here and become a part of the movie's enjoyable charm. From the near-constant stream of really enjoyable one-liners to the general plotline about a gigantic alien spider running amok in Los Angeles and the rather funny side-characters that are a part of the different encounters throughout the story here, it all makes for a rather funny time here and generally makes the movie more enjoyable as the goofy tone matches the goofy action and story being treated here which is what makes for a consistent and entertaining effort. That also makes the action throughout this one a lot of fun with it's constant and seemingly never-ending series of battles against the spider as the hospital attack, rampage through the park, the chase through the winding mountain road and eventually the full confrontation in the city manage to make for a series of exciting and enjoyable action scenes that are full-on enjoyable with their mix of extreme cheese, high-energy base and continued usage of comedy to help make the situation stand out even moreso than usual with rather grandiose flair. The city attack is even more noteworthy for the incredible amount of destruction it unleashes before getting to the battle with the armed forces, taking out all manner of buildings, roadways and others along the way before getting to the final battle, which comes off as rather funny and yet ingenious at the same time. That said, it's tendency to constantly go for the joke instead of taking things serious, as the fact that a giant man-eating spider is loose in a giant metropolitan city is a pretty serious matter and shouldn't be taken lightly no matter how goofy it takes itself, this feeling does undermine the film at the wrong times when they unleash yet another joke instead of trying to take the situation as anything but and it does come off as a little much. As well, the constant CGI utilized for the spiders do make for a rather bland and wholly unsatisfying monster with it's rather obvious fakery and blatant insertion into scenes when it doesn't line up with the human interactions against it. Otherwise, this one becomes a rather fun and entertaining blast of a monster movie.

[Fenril]

- X-men: Days of future past. Just got back from seeing the seventh movie in the X-franchise. I think I'll use a review I wrote for another site... actually, its less a review than just some thoughts about that movie. Also, lots of SPOILERS here:

So, first, this movie is very weird about continuity, in that it acknowledges all previous six movies (and even incorporates flashbacks from most of them), yet bluntly does away certain elements from them, and that’s before we even get to the time travel stuff. Case in point, we are never given an explanation as to how come Charles Xavier is alive again (and not in the body of that patient from the end of X3, either), nor how he solved all his differences with Magneto (to be fair, “we are all going to die” is probably a very good reason to put aside all differences), things like that. Still, the whole things works if you just forget the specific details and enjoy it as a slick action movie / superhero romp.

Having Brian Singer back at the helm does assure us some neat action set pieces —never to the expense of the character drama, which was famously the problem with most of the preceding movies.

Once again, we get all short of cameos from assorted characters in X-books, both famous and obscure, as well as a few historical jokes, as the “past” scenes are set in 1973.

Regardless, other than Wolverine, Professor X, Magneto, Mistique and Beast, most of the characters don’t get to do much of anything, through there are a few rousing battle scenes set in “the future”. Not much to say about the cast, except that Bishop looks cool (and they managed to make his trademark gun credible in a live-action movie) and it bothers me a little bit that Sunspot doesn’t seem to be Brazilian here, but that’s a minor complain.

Oh, yeah, due to plot requirements, Kitty Pride has the ability to send people’s minds back through time; it’s a nod to the famous comic storyline, but it’s never explained why she can do this now. Also, Rogue is heavily mentioned in the credits, but in the movie proper she only gets one tiny cameo at the end. I’m told this is because her scenes were simply cut for whatever reason.

Here’s the part I really liked, which surprised me, and the reason I’m actually writing this: Mistique ended up being a pivotal character in this movie, and she has one of the most fascinating character arcs in the entire series: not from villain to hero or even anti-hero as one would expect, but rather from lackey to any number of powerful men to her own person. Not only does she get to completely cut ties to Magneto (who by the way manages to prove what a jerk he can be to her —in case the scene in X3 where he dumps her after she loses her powers wasn’t enough, here he TRIES TO KILL HER for something THAT HE HIMSELF PROCEEDS TO TRY TO DO in the following scenes), she also rejects Xavier’s influence on her —interestingly, after a million tries to get her to quit on a personal vendetta that will doom all mutants —he pleads to her good side, to “the girl I knew would never do this”, and other arguments of the like —he finally admits that he’s always tried to control her the same way Magneto has, just for the other side. With this, he leaves the crucial decision to her, so she opts to leave her vendetta aside and to carry on doing things her way from now on.

It’s also interesting that the main villain of the movie, Simon Trask, is destined to be killed by Mistique and that he desires her —specifically he desires her body, and the way it’s portrayed is both sci-fi creepy (he wants her cells, her spinal fluid, her blood —all to duplicate her abilities for his Sentinels, which is what will finally doom mutants AND humanity) and a not very subtle metaphor for objectification. It’s when she proves she COULD kill him but chooses not to that he loses all credibility in the scientific community and in the government.

In sort, actually not a bad return to form for the X-films, and I’d like to see what other people think of it.

P.S., We also get the mandatory Wolverine beefcake shot, which was very nice. Also, the mandatory post-credits surprise villain (at this point I guess it’s not a surprise if all Marvel-based movies do this, but hey…); I’ll leave it that I do like the visual they have chosen for this character, and am definitely looking forward to the next installment.

[Fenril]

- The changeling. A composer reeling from the loss of his wife and daughter moves into a house that happens to be haunted by another child. A child with a serious grudge from beyond the grave...

Not much to say here, just rewatched this seminal ghost movie and was reminded of how sometimes "simple and good" trumps (almost) everything. It's a very straightforward story with a minimum of special effects, yet it remains as chilling as ever. It's also worth mentioning that is had one of the earliest manifestations of the modern cynic mindset where tying to help a ghost may well ultimately turn out to be the wrong thing to do (and in this case it's malicious because the ghost in question, once stirred, will simply not stop until he gets what he wants). There's also several elements that seem to have creeped both into icon status (the famous shot of the ball bouncing down the stairs...) and into other classic films (the discovery of a skeleton deep in the well and the false climax with it certainly recall "Ringu", and at least two of its' remakes and/or sequels).

Heh, I guess I did have something to say about it, after all.

- The addiction. A college philosophy student is bitten by a vampire on the subway, which leaves her with an irresistible urge to feed on the blood of both acquaintances and strangers, plus an even more irresistible urge to wax pretentiously about life, death, spirituality and whatnot, which pervasively affects every single character in this movie, undead or not.

Really pretentious vampire film that attempts to use vampirism as a metaphor for both addiction (you know, like in the title) and existential despair. The first is anything but subtle: our lead starts her rampage by sipping a homeless man's blood with a syringe and injecting it into her own arm. The second would be interesting if not for the fact that every single character pretty much repeats the same arguments ad nauseam ; and since the script has it written that only one character may prattle on at a time while everybody else cowers in fear and/or admiration and listens (our lead does this, when not reciting to another victim), it soon becomes evident that this is less a reflection as it's one philosophy 101 idea stretched into an hour-long script. Also, the fact that the movie concludes by proposing that spiritualism might save mankind would be FAR more convincing if it distinguished between religion and spiritualism per se. Which is complicated, yes, but since this movie pretends to tackle complex issues, well!

This movie is not without its' fans, and to be fair there is ONE effective scene: a party celebrating our lead passing her Ph.D. examination, which she ends by reciting "Here's what I learned in all those hard, long years of study!" and summoning her vampire cohorts to feed on the unsuspecting Academics gathered within. Again, it has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer [the root of mankind's existence is savagery geddit?], but at least it's done with gusto, and for once the scriptwriters and director appear to realize how ludicrous their own movie is --one victim tries to hide in the chimney, for example.

So, yeah, not impressed with this movie.

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It's been ages since I've seen both but I remember not caring for either of those. Changeling was long, overplayed and not really that interesting, feeling more like the major-studio efforts of the time where they brought in a major star to headline and make it classy while down-grading the horror so as to not offend the target audience of the star they brought in, sorta like Ghost Story which has the same problem only I think handles it a little more in a horror-based realm. Addiction, though, is right-on with how I felt about it and just seemed to go nowhere in a hurry (though if you want a more detailed write-up on it, I think it's in one of the Just Watched threads, just do a search for it in the Off-the-Chest board to make sure you find it).

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys-After a strange series of deaths around a small Michigan lake, the discovery of the culprit being mutated lamprey fish forces the animal control agents to take action against the creatures and the mayor who doesn't want the information getting out. This turned out to be quite surprisingly enjoyable creature feature that has quite a bit going for it. One of the biggest pluses here is the fact that the creatures are a threat from the very beginning, with the actual attempts to coral the creatures constituting the opening moments which brings up the fact that this was an ongoing problem before we joined the story and makes for a nice change-of-pace over the usual cliche of them springing up out of nowhere and forcing the characters to deal with a suddenly-emerged threat. Here, the fact that this has been going on for awhile and there's a time limit to keep makes for a nice bit of suspense in the first half as well as the rather impressive amount of kills this one dishes out. Since the creatures are known for awhile yet their actual danger is still very much a mystery yet the creatures are loose, there's a lot of fun to be had with the multitude of amazing swarming and attack scenes here as the various creatures emerge from out of nowhere and becomes quite cheesy with the CGI creatures getting on the attack. While this in effect does give the film a lot of rather fun action scenes, especially in the later half with the house sequence coming up from every hole and drain as the continually-growing number descended upon the victims or the absolutely enjoyable and cheesy assault in the lake that manages to become far more entertaining as it goes along with the swarming creatures and disassembled bodies, the fact that the CGI done for the creatures still looks terrible is a major hurdle to overcome. Even when they're quite decent-looking, they're out-of-scale to the scene and rarely interact well with the matching plate for the human action, which really hampers it somewhat. The last thing bugging this one is the reliance on cliches to deliver the goods, for there's the reluctant mayor more obsessed with the money-making events in town than keeping people from being injured, the scientist who knows more than he's letting on despite being willing to help with the containment efforts and the family drama about just moving to the suburb away from everyone that gets old quite fast. Otherwise, there's a lot to like in this one.

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Added an uncut copy of Dracula 3000: Infinite Darkness to the collection.

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The Land Unknown-Pretty enjoyable and uproariously cheesy dinosaur movie from the 50s about a scientific expedition to the South Pole to uncover the truth about a supposed warm-water oasis instead finds a tropical valley where dinosaurs still exist. Really hits a lot of fun marks here with plenty of enjoyable action scenes with both the dinosaurs attacking each other as well as the camp site, the discovery of another survivor there that introduces all sorts of fun about the film and a large portion of time is spent on trying to get the machines working around the dinosaur attacks so there's a lot to like there. That said, the dinosaurs are all sorts of wrong, from their physical appearance that still remains stuck in the 50s mode of paleontology to three distinct special effects types to portray them, yet none of which look remotely close to acceptable. We have enlarged lizards, a man in a T-Rex suit superimposed behind the actors and an animatronic sea creature that might as well be screaming 'look-at-my-wires-and-cable-controlled-appendages' so stiff and immovable it is when on-screen. Still, they're a lot of fun which all combined together into a fun, enjoyable outing.

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Siren-Wretchedly boring effort that offers up hardly anything of value and nearly everything it it does show is watered down and weakened. Despite being about an alluring seductress luring people to an island to kill them, the titular siren isn't that attractive enough to warrant the men going into such panic-stricken lust over her, and the constant attraction to the woman in the group is a total letdown when all their topless making-out is filmed at non-responsive angles to see anything and makes the whole existence worthless. Add in next-to-no kills, a plot with numerous plotholes and some pretty lame resolutions in the finale, this is a complete avoid.