Just Watched Movies (2012)

[Fenril]

- Invaders from mars (1986). Young David sees a UFO landing near his house during a thunderstorm and soon witnesses several local people dissapearing in the nearby hills and returning with strange behaviors and an odd implant in their nape...

Remake of the 1953 B-movie that retains most of the original plot while adding new designs for the invading creatures.

Maybe Tobe Hooper really is a hit-and-miss director. Or maybe he's just not very good with science fiction, if this, "Lifeforce" and "Dance of the dead" are any indication.

- Alucardos, retrato de un vampiro. A documentary concerning the life and career of cult painter / performer / director Juan López Moctezuma [Alucarda; Mansion of madness; Mary, Mary, bloody Mary], the making of Alucarda, the quest of ultra-devotees Manolo and Lalo to find their idol [which culminated on them escorting Moctezuma out of the psychiatric asylum he had been abandoned in] and the disturbing personal story of these two [Manolo was diagnosed from an early age with hermaphroditism; Lalo discovered that his late mother hadn't commited suicide when he was 9, but was instead murdered by her husband]. Includes recreations of several grisly anecdotes from Moctezuma, Manolo and Lalo.

Takes a while to get going, but once it does this becomes a truly fascinating look at an artist on the fringes of sanity and of the outcast people his work reached to. The testimonies from Moctezuma´s family and associates [notably Carlos Monsiváis and Tina Romero, star of Alucarda] are quite insightful, trough Moctezuma´s collaboration with fellow cult artist Alejandro Jodorowsky is barely even covered. All in all, a facinating piece of work.

[slayrrr666]

Vanishing was lauded for exactly the type of qualities I have little interest in, and most of the reviews I've read have given it a lot of leeway because the plot is unique. That means shit to me because the film was so bad at fulfilling it, so I naturally had a lot of negative to say about it. You might like it, but this was going to suck for me and it did.

The Killing Strain-After coming into contact with a strange virus made in a small Texas town, a group of survivors must barricade themselves in the same house where it was created against a horde of flesh-eating zombies that have overrun the area. While it initially appears to be a retread of various zombie movies thrown together into one whole, the fact that this one manages to still be quite enjoyable at such a low budget is especially noteworthy. The action is pretty fast once they get wind of the situation and are stuck in the house, leaving this with some pretty decent gore-gags amidst the action, there's some decent make-up for the zombies and it does a decent job of attempting to hide it's influences. Still, they sometimes shine through way too much, leaving it with an impression of having seen it all before which, when combined with it's low-budget and lack of realistic effects, can leave this one with a foul aftertaste. It's not too bad if you're willing to give it a shot, though.

Humans vs. Zombies-After an infected student arrives at a college campus, she spreads a deadly virus that turns the other students into flesh-eating zombies, forcing a few survivors to fight off the deadly creatures before succumbing to the situation. One that initially started out as another amalgamation of several zombie movies wrapped up into one, this one unwisely managed to drop it's one clever idea of having a campus-wide game involving students disguised as zombies attack the non-zombies before the game is interrupted to turn into yet another rip-off of other zombie films, which hurts this one somewhat. There was also a bit of rule-breaking in it's decision as to who to set-up in couples, which was a nice surprise. Despite that, the fact that the zombies look decent, a bit of money was spent on the gore since it looks pretty decent and the attacks are continuous make for a decent-enough time-waster if the proper attitude is maintained. Plus, one where it decides to waste the entire cast can't be all that bad, which it was here.

Bad Boys II-After a series of incidents involving a deadly new form of Ecstasy in town, Miami detectives and their co-workers start a war on the drug dealer responsible for bringing the new drugs into the country. Somewhat challenging to understand this one, as if you're going to rank this one for it's technical skills it falls short in a lot of areas. The action scenes are incredibly over-done, hyper-stylized to the point of ridiculousness and so shoddily edited that it's almost hard to get to see a single thing going on, ruining the film's biggest selling points somewhat. Also, it tends to run on a little longer than it needs to, since this one pretty much goes on about twenty extra minutes with the Cuba invasion that could've been trimmed down and used as the attack on the state-side mansion, making for a much more streamlined and shorter effort. Still, rating it as an action movie is another story as there's just a lot to like here, from several car chases (including one that now ranks among one of my all-time favorites in the genre) a couple gnarly shootouts and a spectacular shoot-em-up finale, this is a lot more enjoyable than the other problems. Really, it only needs to drop the stylized content and it'd be a whole lot more enjoyable.

[slayrrr666]

Terror Trap-Stopping off at a motel in a small town to rest for the night, a man and his wife find the area a front for a group of criminals to make videos of them torturing people to demented passersby and force them to fight the group off to get away alive. A rather tedious, tired retread of several other films out there that aren't in the least bit exciting on their own and even worse-off in this tired example of the style. Because of the problems with the couple in the beginning, the lack of the group in action and a general air of boredom, it's extremely taxing to get through, and while the action in the second half is somewhat better, the fact that this one is so bland, so tired and so cliched doesn't help it out at all, and in the end leaves it as a very bland, worthless effort.

[slayrrr666]

Ghost Son-After the death of her husband, a woman's growing fear that he may be attempting to reunite with her again comes to fruition when he possesses her newborn son and tries to get her to join him in the afterlife to fulfill her promise to him. This one wasn't all that great, even though there's some good stuff about it as it eventually comes around. Initially appearing to be a bland, barely worthwhile thriller about a woman going crazy after the death of her husband, it's beginning is basically a retread of the same tired gags of her imagining him to be around trying to kill her, even though nothing happens. That really makes the film start off rather confusingly, almost as if the scenes are really about his twin brother instead of her lack of sanity, and the other scenes aren't that interesting despite several nice set-ups. Once the baby's born, it gets a lot better with some very fine scenes, a couple decent surprises and a more energetic, frantic pace to it all. Plus, it's nice to see that the woman basically wears very little the entire time and looks good doing it, otherwise there wouldn't be much to it.

[slayrrr666]

Tactical Force-When a loose-cannon LAPD SWAT team is sent to an abandoned storage hanger as part of a training exercise, they find themselves trapped with blanks amidst a war between two rival criminal gangs and must find a way to get away safely. Not really all that realistic a movie (the set-up is far-fetched and doesn't make sense, and the bad guys are really hard to get behind because of their stupidity at times) but this was still an enormously enjoyable effort. A somewhat more joke-filled film than expected gives it some life early on, and when the action starts it's really non-stop with a ton of exciting, explosive shootouts that are far better than expected. There's even two outstanding martial arts fights in here, including one that was highly anticipated even if it lasted a little too quickly, while the other delivered nicely for what it was. All in all, a lot of fun if you're comfortable turning yourself to auto-pilot for an hour and a half.

[slayrrr666]

Soul Survivors-After a car accident involving her and her friends, a young woman becomes increasingly unhinged with the belief that someone is stalking her as everyone else around her fails to understand her situation. An absolute piece of junk, which has so many flaws it's hard to know where to start. First off, the twist ending at the end is so blatantly obvious that there's no surprise at all when it's revealed, the tame rating never allows it to do anything and the fact that there's no deaths, no kills or anything at all beyond her acting scared of her shadow makes this one just so boring and dull that it's hard to get excited about anything. Even the fact that the lifestyle that they live out isn't exactly all that interesting is another factor to overcome. Even more depressing, it doesn't have a positive aspect beyond a professional sheen, so overall, this one isn't worth it at all.

[slayrrr666]

All About Evil-After becoming the heir to a Grindhouse movie theater, an unhinged wannabe starlet finds success when the recording of a murder is accidentally played and becomes a success, prompting her to make more with the various patrons of the theater. Actually a really enjoyable and entertaining effort, which is certainly helped along by the fact that this one has such a different energy that it becomes all the more appealing as it goes on. While it's played more for laughs than anything, especially in the manner that the killer behaves towards the victims and in how the fans react, which is definitely on the cheesier side. That the actual stalking is still a bit more suspenseful and played straight makes for some interesting times, and its got a mean streak with it's kills so there's some fun to be had there, while the fact that the film doesn't really make a lot of sense when it comes to how the victims disappearing doesn't alert the authorities who have more of an interest in questioning the hero because of his love for Horror movies, but beyond that it's a bit more fun than expected.

[slayrrr666]

Perfect Creature-When a rogue vampire escapes from his detention quarters and starts to unleash a virus on the population that proves fatal to it's recipients, a police officer and a fellow vampire track him down before he spreads it to others. Really, really bad, more so in the sense that it never really feels like a true horror film, more like a deranged sci-fi film rather as the setting (a futuristic time that looks for all the world like 1800's England) and all these ground-rules about the society make it really difficult to get a handle on what's going on, and the near-total elimination of any traditional vampiric qualities (frankly, if the two leads weren't vampires, you wouldn't have any change at all in the story since it never makes them being vampires integral to the story and it just as well could've been an ordinary madman doing this) coupled with extreme amounts of boredom, fixed only by the final showdown which is pretty decent makes this one enjoyable.

[Fenril]

...I think you already mentioned "Perfect creature" before...

- Drag me to hell. A cursed woman must find a way to get rid of a supernatural creature stalking and terrorizing her.

Missed this one in theaters; a very fun supernatural horror from Sam Raimi with intense scares and a twisted storyline. The characters are a bit weird, but that never works against the overall movie.

[slayrrr666]

Yeah, I did a couple months ago but I never mentioned yesterday's was uncensored. Goof on my end.

Teeth-After a series of strange incidents with her boyfriend and other men around town, a teen believes she has contracted a strange, mythical condition in her body and tries to find a way to keep it under control until she can live a normal life. Quite possibly one of the worst horror efforts released, mainly because it's not a horror film and is instead a Drama that includes a theme relevant to horror films and men in general. While the act present in the film is quite unnerving, the central premise of being unsure of what to do with it means that instead of pressing it to an advantage and being quite hesitant doesn't equate to an enjoyable time. While not delving into any kind of action that really makes the condition something to be feared beyond the initial premise, this also leaves the film so dreary, dull and lagging that nothing comes along to give the film any kind of momentum or energy, which coupled together with it's intense religious dogma lowers this one even further.

[slayrrr666]

Dino Wolf-When a genetically engineered Dire Wolf/human hybrid escapes into the wilderness and begins preying on locals in a small town, a group of creators and the sheriff head out to stop it before the bloodsoaked rampage continues. An absolutely amazing creature feature, one that speaks near and dear to my heart of being just so utterly cheesy that it becomes far more enjoyable and entertaining as it goes along. Filled with some absolutely amazing cheese in the form of the titular creature's appearance done in a werewolf-like costume as well as it's origins which is quite goofy in it's placement, the cheesy attacks of it just basically lurching out of the darkness off-screen and mangling the bodies providing some absolutely great gore here, plenty of action and very little downtime, this one is just a pure blast. Doesn't seem to have a lot of extra-time for the creature beyond just showing it attacking so it tends to come-and-go quite easily, but that's not much to hold this one down.

[slayrrr666]

DNA-Years after being double-crossed by a partner, a scientist and a CIA Agent studying a series of strange deaths in a remote rainforest find the cause to be a genetically-engineered monster created by his friend and must stop it's deadly rampage. An odd combination movie, since this one manages to contain references to both 'Aliens' and 'Predator' in the same film yet contains enough elements to make for an original fare seems like something that couldn't possibly work but strangely does, for the most part. The beginning, about the mysterious deaths in the jungle and the investigation finding the hallmarks of a believed-deceased associate up and about make for some pretty dull times when it focuses on the heroes as they do nothing but struggle to understand the pieces and how they fit together, yet when we get to learn about the creature itself it's pretty decent entertainment if still not all that adrenaline-packed. Once it gets loose is where the fun begins, with the creature letting loose and giving some nice gore scenes before it gets to the final confrontation which will be very familiar to most out there. With a cheesy-looking creature and lots of familiarity, it's up to you to decide if those are fatal flaws or not.

[slayrrr666]

Ghosts of Goldfield-When a group of pleasure seekers looking for a reputable haunted house find the mystical location, they stumble upon a greater danger than they ever imagined when a terrifying ghost with a secret connection to the group begins killing them off one-by-one. A rather pedestrian haunted-hotel film which really isn't all that different from the numerous of other types of films out there with a similar plot and layout, which tends to hamper this one significantly by just being so average that it's neither spectacular nor otherwise unremarkable. It does have a grisly air to it with it's revealed backstory and the ghost itself looks quite gruesome when it's finally unleashed. While the setting might've looked a lot more sinister had it been done with a larger budget, it just looks far too cramped to be a large mansion as it is and it hardly ever is played with, since the setting is never used to generate suspense, both of which are also big detracting flaws here. Otherwise, this one isn't all that bad.

Smile-While on a road trip together, a group of friends find their sudden accidents the result of the purchase of a cursed video camera that kills those who get their picture taken with it, and realizing most of them have one, race to stop it from coming true. A little predictable, but it's not too bad as it does have some solid moments here. The kills are all great and rather well-done, providing some nice gore while having some really gruesome set-ups, the last act is incredibly frantic and gives the film a great vibe with it's struggle to get the whole mystery solved and rattles off some impressive scenes. The main problem here is the fact that this one spends far too much time before the switch-over into horror that it's second half is so backloaded with plot info and general horror business that it makes the front half feel that much more sluggish and quite dreary. Also, it's hard to believe that such a plot could function in real-life with the stupidity of the characters displayed, who take such a long time to realize what's going on that it looses a lot of impact quite early on. Otherwise, this one wasn't all that bad.

Scooby-Doo! Music of the Vampire-After going on vacation to a small town that's celebrating vampire culture, the gang finds themselves forced to solve the mystery of a reanimated vampire king looking for a bride among the gathered locals. Continuing the animated films cycle, this one turned out to be rather fun if not quite as good as the last couple which were much better. Introducing a side-splitting side-point where the gang breaks into lavish Broadway-style musical numbers after being encouraged along by Daphne at the start of the trip, the resulting songs are quite funny and come where they're least expected, only enhancing their value. Another big plus here is the deepest exploration of Shaggy and Scooby's relationship, which is poignant and far more heart-felt than most would've expected and makes their scenes quite enjoyable. The only real down-fall here is the rather irksome teen-heartthrob style attributed to the vampire troupe given a large portion of the movie, which isn't interesting and makes for some troubling parts to get through. There's also way too many people in the story and some characters could've been given the axe without damaging the story, but with a fun mystery, some engaging clues and a rather fun finale, this one does have it's moments.

[slayrrr666]

Victim-After being kidnapped by a strange doctor and his henchmen, a young man finds himself subjected to a series of graphic and extreme tortures designed purely for their own pleasure and must find a way to get free before being killed by the group. An absolutely terrible entry, as it's a lame Torture film that offers up nothing that the genre hasn't done in other entries. Too slow to keep the viewer awake, no blood or gore to offer up exploitative thrills and too cliche to really make a difference. Absolute garbage.

[slayrrr666]

Added an uncut copy of Offspring to the collection.