Post by Quorthon on Nov 16, 2005 10:58:01 GMT -5
Quickshot Collection III: Darkness Falls, Terror Firmer, Children of the Living Dead
Darkness Falls
2003
PG-13
This film revolves around a man terrified by, of all things, the tooth fairy. Well, if you've seen They or Boogeyman, you don't need to waste more time on this. It's almost exactly the same story again. Guy terrified as youth tries to fight mysterious evil as an adult. Boooooooooorrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggg.
The acting, as I recall, wasn't too bad, but the story, atmosphere, and evil force they're all a-fightin' are all pretty damn weak. Just pathetic. The tooth fairy doesn't look really all that good, at least for the whopping minute we actually see her. Very CG, and very unimpressive. Why Todd McFarlane felt the need to make an action figure (in the guise of his Movie Maniacs line) of such a boring character is beyond me. Recommended only to those with a love for weak, watered-down horror films. You bastards. 3/10
Terror Firmer
1999
Not Rated
This is a Troma gem we've got here. And we all know what that means, right? It's likely going to be bizarre, violent, absurd, ridiculous, offensive... whathaveyou. And this film is all of those things--and then some. It revolves a film crew, led by a blind director (played by Troma founder, Lloyd Kaufman), making another Toxic Avenger movie. But the film crew is constantly plagued with problems, foremost among them is a psychotic killer doing in people throughout the film in humerous and gory ways. And, in typical Troma fashion, there's insults and spoofs galore, including repeated verbal attacks on Spielberg and a mocking of Seinfeld. Lloyd Kaufman really seems to have a hatred of fellow entertainment business Jews, it would seem... At any rate, the acting, at times is surprisingly good, the gore quality is about average--sometimes, however, laughably weak, entertaining and surprising nudity, and the story is somewhat ridiculous. Bizarre and shocking ending, to boot! Ron Jeremy has a small starring role as an abusive father... sort of...
So, who should watch this thing? Well, gorehounds with an interest in crazy movies will enjoy it, Troma fans will enjoy it--that's almost a given. A unique film, however you look at it. Recommended strongly to curiosity seekers with a tolerance (or love) for weirdness, violence, gore, nudity, and independant film fans. 7/10
Children of the Living Dead
2001
R
Oh... oh poor Tom Savini. He tries so hard, and he's usually so likable. But he has a tendency to end up doing some real crap now and then. This film is sort of a crappy "sequel" to Tom's remake of Night of the Living Dead.... I think. It's been a while, so bear with me on the story here. At any rate, I do remember that this is a rather cumbersome film that meanders along unimpressively right up until it ends.
The basic idea here is that there was some kind of "super zombie" that is apparently the zombie of a serial killer and seems to have had a bunch of zombie kids on a farm somewhere. Of course, in typical fashion, the zombies get loose and go on a-killin' people. Until the townspeople fight back, of course, with some of the most atrocious acting and lathargic pacing of any zombie film. All in all, a pretty disappointing piece with almost no strengths. Tom Savini, of course, plays an amusing bad-ass going around killing zombies with the greatest of ease in the beginning, right up until he gets all killed. Then he spends the rest of the film playing the "lead super serial killer zombie." Sure, the zombie looks pretty cool, but he feels more like a demon or something than a zombie. The film, all in all, just doesn't really work. The gore and make-up effects are, as one would imagine, the high point. The zombie-horror film genre has evolved into something more interesting than just people fighting flesh-eating zombies. Dawn of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Dead-Alive are all basically zombie films--but all with something else--something deeper that makes them fun. Even Zombie (Zombi 2) had a stronger back-story--of course, the intense gore and shocking scenes are what carry that film along. Anyway, that depth doesn't exist here, and it shows that one cannot really have a zombie movie that focuses solely on the zombies. It just doesn't seem to work. Recommended only to hardcore zombie fanatics. 2/10
Darkness Falls
2003
PG-13
This film revolves around a man terrified by, of all things, the tooth fairy. Well, if you've seen They or Boogeyman, you don't need to waste more time on this. It's almost exactly the same story again. Guy terrified as youth tries to fight mysterious evil as an adult. Boooooooooorrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggg.
The acting, as I recall, wasn't too bad, but the story, atmosphere, and evil force they're all a-fightin' are all pretty damn weak. Just pathetic. The tooth fairy doesn't look really all that good, at least for the whopping minute we actually see her. Very CG, and very unimpressive. Why Todd McFarlane felt the need to make an action figure (in the guise of his Movie Maniacs line) of such a boring character is beyond me. Recommended only to those with a love for weak, watered-down horror films. You bastards. 3/10
Terror Firmer
1999
Not Rated
This is a Troma gem we've got here. And we all know what that means, right? It's likely going to be bizarre, violent, absurd, ridiculous, offensive... whathaveyou. And this film is all of those things--and then some. It revolves a film crew, led by a blind director (played by Troma founder, Lloyd Kaufman), making another Toxic Avenger movie. But the film crew is constantly plagued with problems, foremost among them is a psychotic killer doing in people throughout the film in humerous and gory ways. And, in typical Troma fashion, there's insults and spoofs galore, including repeated verbal attacks on Spielberg and a mocking of Seinfeld. Lloyd Kaufman really seems to have a hatred of fellow entertainment business Jews, it would seem... At any rate, the acting, at times is surprisingly good, the gore quality is about average--sometimes, however, laughably weak, entertaining and surprising nudity, and the story is somewhat ridiculous. Bizarre and shocking ending, to boot! Ron Jeremy has a small starring role as an abusive father... sort of...
So, who should watch this thing? Well, gorehounds with an interest in crazy movies will enjoy it, Troma fans will enjoy it--that's almost a given. A unique film, however you look at it. Recommended strongly to curiosity seekers with a tolerance (or love) for weirdness, violence, gore, nudity, and independant film fans. 7/10
Children of the Living Dead
2001
R
Oh... oh poor Tom Savini. He tries so hard, and he's usually so likable. But he has a tendency to end up doing some real crap now and then. This film is sort of a crappy "sequel" to Tom's remake of Night of the Living Dead.... I think. It's been a while, so bear with me on the story here. At any rate, I do remember that this is a rather cumbersome film that meanders along unimpressively right up until it ends.
The basic idea here is that there was some kind of "super zombie" that is apparently the zombie of a serial killer and seems to have had a bunch of zombie kids on a farm somewhere. Of course, in typical fashion, the zombies get loose and go on a-killin' people. Until the townspeople fight back, of course, with some of the most atrocious acting and lathargic pacing of any zombie film. All in all, a pretty disappointing piece with almost no strengths. Tom Savini, of course, plays an amusing bad-ass going around killing zombies with the greatest of ease in the beginning, right up until he gets all killed. Then he spends the rest of the film playing the "lead super serial killer zombie." Sure, the zombie looks pretty cool, but he feels more like a demon or something than a zombie. The film, all in all, just doesn't really work. The gore and make-up effects are, as one would imagine, the high point. The zombie-horror film genre has evolved into something more interesting than just people fighting flesh-eating zombies. Dawn of the Dead, Land of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Dead-Alive are all basically zombie films--but all with something else--something deeper that makes them fun. Even Zombie (Zombi 2) had a stronger back-story--of course, the intense gore and shocking scenes are what carry that film along. Anyway, that depth doesn't exist here, and it shows that one cannot really have a zombie movie that focuses solely on the zombies. It just doesn't seem to work. Recommended only to hardcore zombie fanatics. 2/10
