Post by Quorthon on Sept 28, 2005 14:27:38 GMT -5
Unhinged
Horror
1982
Color
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Directed by: Don Gronquist
USA
I promised myself that when I finally had some money again and was on the road to repairing my credit and financial problems that I'd break down and randomly buy some crappy horror film based entirely on price, cover art, and ridiculous description. For seven bucks, I found this little gem. This movie isn't rated, and the description said it was loaded with nudity, violence, gore, and whatnot. It also claims to be a formerly banned film, pegged by the Brits in the early 80's as a "Video Nasty." "Evil Dead" was one of the films given that title back in the day, so this looked promising...
This is a story about three "sexy" teenage girls on their way to a concert. Well, it's raining and storming and apparently behind the wheel of their car, the driver was snoring. Because they crash in a ditch. Well, pretty quickly they're saved and placed in a gigantic mansion with two crazy ladies. One is very old, the other is the daughter--and she's taking care of the nutty old bat--who, by the way, has a stark, wild hatred of all men. Even her own semi-retarded son who just wanders around outside being creepy through the film. Well, of course, this is kind of a slasher film, so death must come to all the characters eventually, right? Uh-huh...
Here’s the breakdown:
The Good:
--Well, the random mild (although occasionally full) nudity of the chicks is a real plus--although only one of them really passes for "pretty."
--The old woman is hilarious, but only because she's about the worst actor/actress this side of "Troll 2." Coincidentially, she has among the worst lines ever written. Wait... why did I put this in the "Good" section? Oh yeah--it's funny.
--Believe it or not, the atmosphere is fantastic.
--Actual creepy, moody, scary moments. Go figure!
--Nice surprise ending.
Didn’t Hurt It, Didn’t Help:
--Uninspired story, but it gets the job done.
--"Meh" music.
--What little violence and gore we have is pretty cool.
--Not bad cinematography.
The Bad:
--Okay, down to the nitty-gritty: The acting is fucking atrocious. So bad it's funny. No really. The old lady is one of the single worst actors in the history of film--she flails her arms around and everything, and just looks plain batty.
--Somewhat idiotic writing.
--These girls are trapped in this house in the middle of nowhere and told that it's 3 miles by road to the nearest town, 2 miles through the "dark, mysterious, difficult to navigate" forest. Sounds like it would be easy to flee the place once it started being all creepy, right? Think again.
--It rains and storms continuously for about 4 days--usually at night. While this did pretty well for the atmosphere, it was also kind of ridiculous. It's not like a snowstorm kept 'em all trapped there.
--The trapped girls just settle down in this big-assed, creepy mansion and get comfortable there pretty easily.
--One of the three girls is basically forgotton throughout most of the film.
--Lethargic pacing.
--The first, oh, about 15 minutes are spent almost entirely watching the girls drive through the country--and that mindless banter they exchange as "conversation" doesn't make the time go by any quicker.
The Ugly:
--The overly misleading DVD case--sure the ending is surprising, but dammit, that's a long time to wait for something cool to happen.
Memorable Scene:
--The film's climax. Oh, and the two girls in the bathroom at the same time, naked, and totally comfortable with it all.
Acting: 1/10
Story: 4/10
Atmosphere: 8/10
Cinematography: 5/10
Character Development: 2/10
Special Effects/Make-up: 5/10
Nudity/Sexuality: 5/10
Violence/Gore: 6/10
Set/Backgrounds: 6/10
Dialogue: 2/10
Music: 5/10
Writing: 3/10
Direction: 4/10
Cheesiness: 6/10
Crappiness: 2/10
Overall: 5/10
Well then. This is basically a horror/slasher film from the early 80's that obviously meant well, but fell well short of being truly good, groundbreaking, or original. The only reason I rated as high as I did was for the nice ending and unexpectedly great atmosphere. For horror fans, especially fans of cheesy horror or slasher films, only.
Horror
1982
Color
MPAA Rating: Unrated
Directed by: Don Gronquist
USA
I promised myself that when I finally had some money again and was on the road to repairing my credit and financial problems that I'd break down and randomly buy some crappy horror film based entirely on price, cover art, and ridiculous description. For seven bucks, I found this little gem. This movie isn't rated, and the description said it was loaded with nudity, violence, gore, and whatnot. It also claims to be a formerly banned film, pegged by the Brits in the early 80's as a "Video Nasty." "Evil Dead" was one of the films given that title back in the day, so this looked promising...
This is a story about three "sexy" teenage girls on their way to a concert. Well, it's raining and storming and apparently behind the wheel of their car, the driver was snoring. Because they crash in a ditch. Well, pretty quickly they're saved and placed in a gigantic mansion with two crazy ladies. One is very old, the other is the daughter--and she's taking care of the nutty old bat--who, by the way, has a stark, wild hatred of all men. Even her own semi-retarded son who just wanders around outside being creepy through the film. Well, of course, this is kind of a slasher film, so death must come to all the characters eventually, right? Uh-huh...
Here’s the breakdown:
The Good:
--Well, the random mild (although occasionally full) nudity of the chicks is a real plus--although only one of them really passes for "pretty."
--The old woman is hilarious, but only because she's about the worst actor/actress this side of "Troll 2." Coincidentially, she has among the worst lines ever written. Wait... why did I put this in the "Good" section? Oh yeah--it's funny.
--Believe it or not, the atmosphere is fantastic.
--Actual creepy, moody, scary moments. Go figure!
--Nice surprise ending.
Didn’t Hurt It, Didn’t Help:
--Uninspired story, but it gets the job done.
--"Meh" music.
--What little violence and gore we have is pretty cool.
--Not bad cinematography.
The Bad:
--Okay, down to the nitty-gritty: The acting is fucking atrocious. So bad it's funny. No really. The old lady is one of the single worst actors in the history of film--she flails her arms around and everything, and just looks plain batty.
--Somewhat idiotic writing.
--These girls are trapped in this house in the middle of nowhere and told that it's 3 miles by road to the nearest town, 2 miles through the "dark, mysterious, difficult to navigate" forest. Sounds like it would be easy to flee the place once it started being all creepy, right? Think again.
--It rains and storms continuously for about 4 days--usually at night. While this did pretty well for the atmosphere, it was also kind of ridiculous. It's not like a snowstorm kept 'em all trapped there.
--The trapped girls just settle down in this big-assed, creepy mansion and get comfortable there pretty easily.
--One of the three girls is basically forgotton throughout most of the film.
--Lethargic pacing.
--The first, oh, about 15 minutes are spent almost entirely watching the girls drive through the country--and that mindless banter they exchange as "conversation" doesn't make the time go by any quicker.
The Ugly:
--The overly misleading DVD case--sure the ending is surprising, but dammit, that's a long time to wait for something cool to happen.
Memorable Scene:
--The film's climax. Oh, and the two girls in the bathroom at the same time, naked, and totally comfortable with it all.
Acting: 1/10
Story: 4/10
Atmosphere: 8/10
Cinematography: 5/10
Character Development: 2/10
Special Effects/Make-up: 5/10
Nudity/Sexuality: 5/10
Violence/Gore: 6/10
Set/Backgrounds: 6/10
Dialogue: 2/10
Music: 5/10
Writing: 3/10
Direction: 4/10
Cheesiness: 6/10
Crappiness: 2/10
Overall: 5/10
Well then. This is basically a horror/slasher film from the early 80's that obviously meant well, but fell well short of being truly good, groundbreaking, or original. The only reason I rated as high as I did was for the nice ending and unexpectedly great atmosphere. For horror fans, especially fans of cheesy horror or slasher films, only.
