Post by taxidriver on May 18, 2005 13:38:59 GMT -5
The title of this film, Naked Weapon, might conjure up images in your head of some cheesy thriller about beautiful girls using their perfect bodies to carry out their far-fetched, globetrotting and highly deadly missions. Well, that's about the gist of this gem.
A very stylish B-movie about young girls with athletic and intellectual potential who are kidnapped and trained into lethal assassins on a remote island, Naked Weapon is actually pretty similar to the TV series Alias, with a sexy girl as its heroine, albeit one who is torn over her duties as an assassin. The locations are exotic, the action frequent and exciting, and the dialogue truly awful. Thankfully, this doesn't hinder the film in any way, as the cheesy lines and equally over the top acting fits in nicely with the ludicrous premise of this film.
So why am I bothering to review a film that has been made 100 times before? Well, the world of late night B-movie action films is a large and daunting one- every film seems the same, so how do you pick the good form the truly terrible? Only with experience and no social life, my friends, that's how. I feel an obligation to let you know about this worthy effort, so that next time you're at you local video store, you can look past all the rubbish - Naked Killer (sounds similar, but is truly terrible), Princess Blade, Sexy Death Girls IV (or something to that effect) - and go straight for Naked Weapon.
Maggie Q and Anya make great eye candy and their 'emotional connection' gives some comic relief (although not intentionally). Almen Wong Pui-Ha is suitably dastardly as the shady Madame M, the evil woman who trains the girls as killers. Daniel Wu, who plays the investigating CIA officer and Maggie Q's love interest, gets the prize for Worst Fucking Actor On The Planet. All he has to do is fall in love with Maggie Q (really not that difficult) and get beaten up a bit - how hard can that be? Very, apparently. He wanders round for the whole film with his mouth half open like a retard, and wide eyes suggesting he's just been released from a 10-year hostage crisis. I mean, come on, if you're gonna pick some CIA agent to track down elusive and deadly assassins, at least find someone who looks like he can find his way out of a fucking paper bag. Phew… enough of that rant.
Anyway, the acting and story is not important; it's the action and the lovely ladies that count. And the film definitely doesn't disappoint on this front. The action is very balletic in its style, shot with great energy and intensity. Seeing a gorgeous girl in a flimsy white dress rip out a man's spine has never been so erotic. The kung fu, while maybe not living up to serious martial arts films, is still pretty fun to watch, and is aided by some equally fun cinematography.
The only scene that really jarred for me was a scene involving gang rape, which was just unneccessary in my eyes, and might offend some people. Thankfully, it's over pretty quickly, and it's explenation is so terrible that it loses its impact.
I would recommend watching Naked Weapon when you've come home a bit drunk and want to watch some brainless entertainment. Failing that, you can invite some hot intellectual girl round and show her what good films are really about…
A very stylish B-movie about young girls with athletic and intellectual potential who are kidnapped and trained into lethal assassins on a remote island, Naked Weapon is actually pretty similar to the TV series Alias, with a sexy girl as its heroine, albeit one who is torn over her duties as an assassin. The locations are exotic, the action frequent and exciting, and the dialogue truly awful. Thankfully, this doesn't hinder the film in any way, as the cheesy lines and equally over the top acting fits in nicely with the ludicrous premise of this film.
So why am I bothering to review a film that has been made 100 times before? Well, the world of late night B-movie action films is a large and daunting one- every film seems the same, so how do you pick the good form the truly terrible? Only with experience and no social life, my friends, that's how. I feel an obligation to let you know about this worthy effort, so that next time you're at you local video store, you can look past all the rubbish - Naked Killer (sounds similar, but is truly terrible), Princess Blade, Sexy Death Girls IV (or something to that effect) - and go straight for Naked Weapon.
Maggie Q and Anya make great eye candy and their 'emotional connection' gives some comic relief (although not intentionally). Almen Wong Pui-Ha is suitably dastardly as the shady Madame M, the evil woman who trains the girls as killers. Daniel Wu, who plays the investigating CIA officer and Maggie Q's love interest, gets the prize for Worst Fucking Actor On The Planet. All he has to do is fall in love with Maggie Q (really not that difficult) and get beaten up a bit - how hard can that be? Very, apparently. He wanders round for the whole film with his mouth half open like a retard, and wide eyes suggesting he's just been released from a 10-year hostage crisis. I mean, come on, if you're gonna pick some CIA agent to track down elusive and deadly assassins, at least find someone who looks like he can find his way out of a fucking paper bag. Phew… enough of that rant.
Anyway, the acting and story is not important; it's the action and the lovely ladies that count. And the film definitely doesn't disappoint on this front. The action is very balletic in its style, shot with great energy and intensity. Seeing a gorgeous girl in a flimsy white dress rip out a man's spine has never been so erotic. The kung fu, while maybe not living up to serious martial arts films, is still pretty fun to watch, and is aided by some equally fun cinematography.
The only scene that really jarred for me was a scene involving gang rape, which was just unneccessary in my eyes, and might offend some people. Thankfully, it's over pretty quickly, and it's explenation is so terrible that it loses its impact.
I would recommend watching Naked Weapon when you've come home a bit drunk and want to watch some brainless entertainment. Failing that, you can invite some hot intellectual girl round and show her what good films are really about…
